OT -- Looks like somebody's prayers worked!

[Doc Hudson]

Gentlemen,

I can not tell you how much I appreciate your kind words of support and most of all your prayers.

It looks like the prayers have worked.

After lots of talk and plenty of tears from both of us, we are going to try to get our marriage back into working order.

It won't be easy for either of us, since we are both stubborn and set in our ways, but we've spent nearly half our lives together, and neigher of us want to have that been a waste.

Thank you again for the prayers, and thank you all for the continuded support.

Doc

[gamekeeper]

I sure hope it works out for you and your wife. I hope you can both rediscover some of what brought you together in the first place.

[Blaine]

You guys have my best possible thoughts and prayers......It takes guts to back down a bit when nerves are worn raw......Good luck and I hope things turn out exactly as they should.

[mescalero1]

Need to go to the water canyon more often
That is really cool, I have often wondered what makes people come to that conclusion after so many years.

[J Miller]

Prayer works. I just wish I was better at it. Glad you have decided to stay together.

Joe

[nemhed]

God always answers all prayers. We may not get the answer we want but prayer works. I'm really glad the two of you are going to work towards a successful marriage. Too many couples give up too easily. I will continue to pray for the health and well being of your marriage.

[alnitak]

Good luck to you both. I went through ten years of hell and separation, but my wife and I are still together. Be of conviction about what is important to you (in my case, it was the kids). I believe that love is a decision...not a feeling. We can choose to love, get up every day and decide to see what you love in the other person (and not what annoys you), and decide to act in a way that displays and reinforces that love. In my experience, women fall out of love because they no longer feel loved. Help her to feel that again -- listen to her, pay attention to her, let her know how you feel about her, spend time with her, rediscover activities you can share, etc. ... decide to love her all over again, and I'm sure things will work out.

[Nath]

Gentlemen,

I can not tell you how much I appreciate your kind words of support and most of all your prayers.

It looks like the prayers have worked.

After lots of talk and plenty of tears from both of us, we are going to try to get our marriage back into working order.

It won't be easy for either of us, since we are both stubborn and set in our ways, but we've spent nearly half our lives together, and neigher of us want to have that been a waste.

Thank you again for the prayers, and thank you all for the continuded support.

Doc

Doc I could of wrote that!
Darn nearly got me choking up now.
Give your Lady a big sloppy one from me.
Seems both of you have grit.
This world is tough on married life, keep trying folks

Nath.

[O.S.O.K.]

Really good to hear this.

Make a promise to yourself to tell her every day that you love her. (I need to do this myself) And to stop youself should you start to argue and tell her that you care about what she has to say and will listen. I think that's the key. Listen to each other and always let your partner know that first and foremost you care about them and then be honest - but willing to meet her half way or trade off. You may have to give her some time to get it, but she will come around too.

You've been together for 19 years for some reason.

[Tycer]

Now, i'm not suggesting you do, but....Stop lying. Both of you.
Promise to stop lying and admit to the other immediately that you lied, and the truth is xxxx, and you don't know why you thought you needed to lie.
Humans have this innate desire to seem what they are not and they constantly speak whatever words they think will project the image.
Think - woman touches arm - arm must flex - type unconscious reaction.

Of course this does not mean you need to dredge stuff up that happened in the past. Take ALL of that stuff to your grave.
You're starting over. Don't ask about the past, don't tell about the past. To the grave with it folks, don't even mention it when you're 90.

Doc, you are an upright man. You took an oath. There's info there too.

Oh, and learn to talk about money without getting defensive.

Document your fights and what the external factors were - time of day, alcohol?, just in from work.....that kind of stuff. See if you can name the times you most often fight and next time you catch yourselves in a fight at that time, walk away. Pick it back up in an hour or two.

This is all my filters talking. I'm no expert! I did sleep at a Holiday Inn once.

[C. Cash]

That is wonderful, wonderful news Doc! Continued prayers up for you and the Mrs.

[GANJIRO]

Doc, thank you for the good news, I'm so happy for the both of you. Good open communication will help not only help in the healing process but will also keep the relationship strong. I know I have been guilty of failure to communicate as well as taking my wife for granted, or getting so absorbed in my own trials and tribulations as to forget she has her own to deal with and needs my support. My prayers continue for you both. Hang in there and work hard, it's worth it.

[rjohns94]

prayers continue Doc. best wishes for you both

[Jayhawker]

Best wishes for the both of you. May you both learn to enjoy each other once again and be happy!

[RIHMFIRE]

Good luck to you both....

[pharmseller]

WHOO HOO!

You made my day!



P

[Grizzly Adams]

Remember, never let the sun set on your anger. Hope things work out for you both.

[iceman]

GREAT NEWS!!! Talk it out. You didn't get this far by not having at least a little in common. I'm no expert but as I say to my lovely wife of 26 years, "I still haven't figured out how to read minds, you have to tell me what you think" Best of luck to both of you and my prayers are with you both. Maybe you should let her read some of these replies to show her the kind of great people out there who really care about both of you.

[Borregos]

Wonderful news, good luck and best wishes for the future

[Hobie]

Well those prayers couldn't have been JUST mine as I KNOW I wasn't the ONLY person to ask that you guys see the light.

Seriously though, I was a bit shocked. I know how darn proud you were when Dr. Hudson got her degree. I couldn't imagine that you guys would split!

[mod71alaska]

Yippie!!!

[GEOFF]

Doc,

THAT IS JUST THE BEST NEWS!!!! That made my day to see something happy like that.

I've been married exactly 19 years too and my wife and I work on it every day. I don't believe it is ever easy for any marriage. Hang in there, and a BIG THUMBS UP for giving it another try. Seems like a lot of our friends and acquaintances make it to the 12 to 15 year mark and the union disintegrates! You guys have made it thru that, keep being good to each other. I expect you to get your wife a NICE Valentines gift now!!!!

Geoff

[Mike D.]

That's great news, Doc. Prayers work.

[1886]

Good for you both. Hope it works. Watch your six bro. Best Wishes, 1886.

[JerryB]

Praise the Lord !! God will be there for ya'll just lean on Him and be patient with each other.

[kimwcook]

That's great news, Doc. Sometimes the people we love are the last ones to know how much we love them.

[cnjarvis]

Good. Hope it all works out for both of you.

[Mokwaw]

Great news Doc..........best to both of you.

I would like to add, if you haven't seen the movie "Fire Proof", go see it. Relates to your situation.

[Griff]

Doc,

That's super news; I started to say in the last reply, but 2nd thoughts made me stop... but... since you're going to try again...
The wife & I have been to the brink many times... sometimes she was fed up, sometimes it was me... but always talked... usually over coffed in a public restuarant (I'm more restrained and not distracted by tv, computer, or chores, or...); and finally, a few years ago she admitted why she was still around... she refuses to admit she made a mistake! Me, I refuse to break in a new bookkeeper!

Seriously, it's the coffee and talking about the things that matter to us, AND those that don't! Has helped both of us survive the last 38 years... or 35 if you don't count the 3 years I was in the Navy and VN!

[CowboyTutt]

Doc, I have to echo Hobie's sentiments. I remember how hard you and your wife struggled while she got her doctorate, and I was crushed to read your original post. It was already hard for me to percieve the two of you apart based upon what you had done together. I'm so glad you are still willing to work it out! God Bless, and keep it going!

Sincerely,

-Tutt

[dr walker]

Good news, glad to hear it.

[Jaguarundi]

Congrats & Godbless !My parents stayed married for over 50 years.My father would say "Even through we threaten divorce every other day... we kept the line of communication open...we talked.It is when you stop talk'n that is when you should begin worrying".

[claybob86]

Glad to hear that, Doc! Best of wishes to both of you!

[Dave]

Hang in there buddy! Marriage has seasons and not all of them are good ones. Each time you work through a bad spot your marriage rises to a higher level. Don't quit. A mature marriage can't be bought.

[.45]

Glad to hear you got back together. As mentioned above Firepoof is a good and offers help for relationships. We also attended a video conference called Love and Respect http://www.loveandrespect.com/content/a ... pect.phpat at our church. I can honestly say that it saved our marriage.

[Ysabel Kid]

This just made my day. Blessing Doc to you and your wife on the road ahead!

[C. Cash]

Hang in there buddy! Marriage has seasons and not all of them are good ones. Each time you work through a bad spot your marriage rises to a higher level. Don't quit. A mature marriage can't be bought.

Good words!

[41bear]

Thats great Doc all the best to you both, I'm still praying for you both.