The EMU
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Please post political post in the new Politics forum.
- Old Ironsights
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The EMU
An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe' with a full-grown emu behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.
The truckie says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke,' and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?' 'I'll have the same,' says the emu.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the emu come again and he says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke.' The emu says, 'I'll have the same.'
Again the truckie reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.
'No, it's Friday night, so I'll have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man. 'Same,' says the emu.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, mate, how do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?'
'Well, love' says the truckie, 'a few years ago, I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'
'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'
'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man. The waitress asks, 'What's with the bloody emu?'
The truckie sighs, pauses, and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs, who agrees with everything I say.'
The truckie says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke,' and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?' 'I'll have the same,' says the emu.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the emu come again and he says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke.' The emu says, 'I'll have the same.'
Again the truckie reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.
'No, it's Friday night, so I'll have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man. 'Same,' says the emu.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, mate, how do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?'
'Well, love' says the truckie, 'a few years ago, I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'
'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'
'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man. The waitress asks, 'What's with the bloody emu?'
The truckie sighs, pauses, and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs, who agrees with everything I say.'
C2N14... because life is not energetic enough.
מנא, מנא, תקל, ופרסין Daniel 5:25-28... Got 7.62?
Not Depressed enough yet? Go read National Geographic, July 1976
Gott und Gewehr mit uns!
מנא, מנא, תקל, ופרסין Daniel 5:25-28... Got 7.62?
Not Depressed enough yet? Go read National Geographic, July 1976
Gott und Gewehr mit uns!
- gamekeeper
- Spambot Zapper
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- Borregos
- Advanced Levergunner
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Re: The EMU
Love it
Pete
Sometimes I wonder if it is worthwhile gnawing through the leather straps to get up in the morning..................
Sometimes I wonder if it is worthwhile gnawing through the leather straps to get up in the morning..................
Re: The EMU
"Congressmen who willfully take actions during wartime that damage morale, and undermine the military are saboteurs and should be arrested, exiled or hanged"....President Abraham Lincoln
- Ysabel Kid
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- Senior Levergunner
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- Jacko
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Re: The EMU
Thats funny
regards Jacko
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- Levergunner 3.0
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Re: The EMU
A number of years ago, I was fueling my cruiser at the end of an 11/7 shift when I got a call from dispatch advising that a citizen had reported an ostrich running down Arnold Road! Now ostriches are few and far between in south central Massachusettts, but a local microbrewerey had an emu in a petting zoo on their farm just off Arnold Road. Sure enough,
upon arrival I found the emu walking down the yellow line, being followed by the owner's mother who had a bucket of emu chow, trying to lure it back home. The darned bird had gotten scared by gun shots (it was hunting season) and jumped the fence, according to the lady. The emu became fascinated by the strobes on the cruiser, and walked along beside me until we all returned to the farm. The bird then wandered down a cart road, and the lady said her sons were on their way in to corral
the emu, and that they were all set now. No genie, no exact change, but I did get an hour's overtime out of the call.
Great joke, OI!
upon arrival I found the emu walking down the yellow line, being followed by the owner's mother who had a bucket of emu chow, trying to lure it back home. The darned bird had gotten scared by gun shots (it was hunting season) and jumped the fence, according to the lady. The emu became fascinated by the strobes on the cruiser, and walked along beside me until we all returned to the farm. The bird then wandered down a cart road, and the lady said her sons were on their way in to corral
the emu, and that they were all set now. No genie, no exact change, but I did get an hour's overtime out of the call.
Great joke, OI!
Riamh Nar Dhruid O Spairn Lann
- motto on the Irish Regiments' flags
- motto on the Irish Regiments' flags