HUMOR - Texas DUI

[rjohns94]

DUI - TEXAS STYLE


From the county where drunk driving is considered a sport,

comes this true story. Recently a routine police patrol parked
outside a bar in Austin , Texas. After last call, the officer
noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he
could barely walk.
>
> The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes,
> with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which
> he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car
> and fall into it.
>
>
> He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons
> left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and
> off--it was a fine, dry summer night--, flicked the blinkers on and off
a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the
lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed
a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some
more of the other patrons' vehicles left.


At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot,
he pulled out and drove slowly down the road. The police
officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up
his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled
the man over and administered a breathalyzer test. To his
amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence
that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, ``I'll have to ask you
to accompany me to the police station.'' This breathalyzer equipment must be
broken. 'I doubt it,' said the truly proud Redneck.
'Tonight I'm the designated
decoy.'

[C. Cash]

Clever...very clever......

[crs]

[Andrew]

Good gravy.

[kimwcook]

[pharmseller]

Not to urinate in the Wheaties...
I guess it's funny, unless you've lost someone close to a drunk behind the wheel...




P

[rjohns94]

point well taken and sorry if it hits close to home. no offense was intended just as offense is not meant I'm sure by those who tell jokes about wives that portray them in a bad light, or any number of other jokes that have as a basis in race, sex, raw stereo types, satire etc. Would you suggest that the joke not be told? or perhaps we should post a warning on the jokes thus rendering them humorless? Maybe we need a seperate forum for jokes?

Again, sorry if it offended someone, certainly wasnt promoting drunk driving. Geez

[horsefly]

What's not to like? I think it is a great joke. Got any more. (Boy, that wiull probably open a flood gate!

[Nazgul]

True story- The local gin mill was a block from the High School, it is gone now but was there for years. Often the first guy out of the bar walked to the school and jiggled the door, setting off the alarm. When the towm marshal drove by, the bar emptied. The town only had one marshal for a long time.

Don

[mescalero1]

Need some old Texans to back this up, I am 56, when I was going to school in Texas( when dirt was still rocks )
It was not illegal to drink and drive, but it was illegal to be drunk and drive.

[Barcelona Rick]

Well please don't take any offense to this little story. A Texas State Trooper stops a fellow for speeding at mile marker 620 on Interstate 20. Walks up to the drivers door and asks why he is in such a hurry ? The gentleman says he is headed to the Shrine Hospital in Shreveport, La to perform for the kids and is running late. He tells the Trooper that he is a juggler. Well the Trooper has heard ever excuse on earth but this is a first. So he tells the driver to get out and asks if he can look in the trunk. The man gets out and the Trooper looks inside the trunk. There is a clown outfit and props including juggling balls/pins etc. Well the Trooper tells him to grab the pins, step on the shoulder out of traffic and prove to him that he can juggle. If he indeed can juggle he will give him a warning. Well the ole boy just starts juggling up a storm...really puts on a show. All of a sudden a Lexus with New York plates pulls over and the driver gets out, walks up to the trooper, turns around and puts his hands behind his back and tells the trooper to slap on the cuffs. The trooper asks him what in the world is going on....the New Yorker says: "Well I'm drunk....but....I'm telling you there is no way I could pass that test sober."

jumbeaux

[RKrodle]

Need some old Texans to back this up, I am 56, when I was going to school in Texas( when dirt was still rocks )
It was not illegal to drink and drive, but it was illegal to be drunk and drive.

True, but not anymore.

[GEOFF]

Oh geez I needed a few chuckles like that tonight!!

Geoff

[mescalero1]

Thanks RK,
I knew I remembered that right.

[piller]

I enjoyed the joke, and if you have never been in Texas, come for a visit. It is indeed different from anywhere else on earth, and that story could possibly be true. If true, it would have had to have happened some years ago.
A co-worker of mine, a Pharmacy Technician, is married to a State Trooper. He has a real dislike for drunk drivers, and I have seen enough people pulled over to know that the other LEOs here feel the same, so if anyone was offended, rest assured that we don't tolerate that stuff in real life here anymore. Pharmseller, I really do hope you don't let the joke ruin your day. Come to Texas for a visit sometime and you will see it isn't like the joke.

[Borregos]

[Doc Hudson]

Need some old Texans to back this up, I am 56, when I was going to school in Texas( when dirt was still rocks )
It was not illegal to drink and drive, but it was illegal to be drunk and drive.

I don't know the truth of the matter, but I've read that at one time, it was illegal to drink and drive inside Houston City Limits, but not illegal outside the city limits.

[Tycer]

Need some old Texans to back this up, I am 56, when I was going to school in Texas( when dirt was still rocks )
It was not illegal to drink and drive, but it was illegal to be drunk and drive.

Yup, usta could sip that Coors on a hot afternoon drive.

[AJMD429]

Need some old Texans to back this up, I am 56, when I was going to school in Texas( when dirt was still rocks )
It was not illegal to drink and drive, but it was illegal to be drunk and drive.

Yup, usta could sip that Coors on a hot afternoon drive.

Same in Indiana until a few years back. Not a good thing (the line too fine - lots of drunk/reckless/deadly drivers who didn't get caught UNTIL they did something lethal).

[mescalero1]

Same thing in Texas, police were unwilling to press the charge with no real defintion of drinking & drunk.