California businesses moving to Texas

[Mike D.]

Due to the increasing numbers of jobs moving from California to Texas, the Lone Star State has compiled a "Californian to Texan" translation guide.


CALIFORNIA TEXAS
Arsenal of Weapons Gun Collection
Delicate Wetlands Swamp
Undocumented Worker Illegal Alien
Cruelty-Free Materials Synthetic Fiber
Assault and Battery Attitude Adjustment
Heavily Armed Well-protected
Narrow-minded Righteous
Taxes or Your Fair Share Coerced Theft
Commonsense Gun Control Gun Confiscation Plot
Illegal Hazardous Explosives Fireworks for Stump Removal
Nonviable Tissue Mass Unborn Baby
Equal Access to Opportunity Socialism
Multicultural Community High Crime Area
Fairness or Social Progress Marxism
Upper Class or "The Rich" Self-Employed
Progressive, Change Big Government Scheme
Homeless or Disadvantaged Bums or Welfare Leeches
Sniper Rifle Scoped Deer Rifle
Investment For the Future Higher Taxes
Healthcare Reform Socialized Medicine
Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater Conservative
Truants Home schoolers
Victim or Oppressed Criminal or Lazy Good-For-Nothing
High Capacity Magazine Standard Magazine
Religious Zealot Church-going
Reintroduced Wolves Sheep and Deer Killers
Fair Trade Coffee Overpriced Yuppie Coffee
Exploiters or "The Rich" Employed or Land Owner
The Gun Lobby NRA Members
Assault Weapon Semi-Auto (Grandpa's M1 Carbine)
Fiscal Stimulus New Taxes and Higher Taxes
Same Sex Marriage Legalized Perversion
Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting Chinese Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs

[Mike D.]

The translation was sure messed up between here and there. Instead of being side to side it was stacked. Dumb.

[El Chivo]

Due to the increasing numbers of jobs moving from California to Texas, the Lone Star State has compiled a "Californian to Texan" translation guide.

• CALIFORNIA vs. TEXAS
  Arsenal of Weapons vs. Gun Collection
  Delicate Wetlands vs. Swamp
  Undocumented Worker vs. Illegal Alien
  Cruelty-Free Materials vs. Synthetic Fiber
  Assault and Battery vs. Attitude Adjustment
  Heavily Armed vs. Well-protected
  Narrow-minded vs. Righteous
  Taxes or Your Fair Share vs. Coerced Theft
  Commonsense Gun Control vs. Gun Confiscation Plot
  Illegal Hazardous Explosives vs. Fireworks
  Nonviable Tissue Mass vs. Unborn Baby
  Equal Access to Opportunity vs. Socialism
  Multicultural Community vs. High Crime Area
  Fairness or Social Progress vs. Marxism
  Upper Class or "The Rich" vs. Self-Employed
  Progressive, Change vs. Big Government Scheme
  Homeless or Disadvantaged vs. Bums or Welfare Leeches
  Sniper Rifle vs. Scoped Deer Rifle
  Investment For the Future vs. Higher Taxes
  Healthcare Reform vs. Socialized Medicine
  Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater vs. Conservative
  Truants vs. Home schoolers
  Victim or Oppressed vs. Criminal or Lazy Good-For-Nothing
  High Capacity Magazine vs. Standard Magazine
  Religious Zealot vs. Church-going
  Reintroduced Wolves vs. Sheep and Deer Killers
  Fair Trade Coffee vs. Overpriced Yuppie Coffee
  Exploiters or "The Rich" vs. Employed or Land Owner
  The Gun Lobby vs. NRA Members
  Assault Weapon vs. Semi-Auto (Grandpa's M1 Carbine)
  Fiscal Stimulus vs. Higher Taxes
  Same Sex Marriage vs. Legalized Perversion
  Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting vs. Chinese Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs

[piller]

Thanks, maybe now I can converse with some of the Idjets--or in Californiaspeak, Intellectuals with a lower IQ than mine. (IQ can be vastly overrated, but some folks seem to think it is the only thing that matters)

If the right side mirror on your hybrid car states that objects in mirror may crush you if you don't move over, you might be a Liberal in Texas.

[Alan Wood]

All too true Mike!

[kaschi]

And not surprising...

[Ji in Hawaii]

Allot of them Kalifornicators immigrated to Hawaii during the 70s and 80s and ruined much of what used to be rural Hawai'i. My town of Kailua was farms, cattle, and a fishing village. Where farms and cattle were now covered with homes for these immigrants, and the little fishing village of Kawailoa was bought up, the native Hawaiians whom I grew up with displaced, and now there are million dollar homes where fishermen used to dry their nets. Laws have been changed to accommodate the values and culture of these immigrants so that now fishing has been banned in my own backyard. Hawaii gun laws now mirror Kali's. If I could afford to move I would but not sure of anyplace better.

[DixieBoy]

Mike - Stacked or not, this is an excellent list.

I particularly like "attitude adjustment" and "stump removal." Had me laughing hard. Good work. - DixieBoy