How To Fry Eggs
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Please post political post in the new Politics forum.
How To Fry Eggs
.
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Then, her husband burst suddenly into the kitchen.
"Be careful", he said, "CAREFUL ! ....... Put in some more butter ! ........ Oh my gosh ! ... You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY ! Turn them ! TURN THEM NOW ! ........ We need more butter...... Oh my gosh ! .... WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER now ?... ...... They're going to STICK ! ...... Careful, CAREFUL ! I SAID BE CAREFUL ! ........... You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking ! ........ NEVER !............ TURN them !.... HURRY UP ! .... Are you CRAZY ? ........ HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND ? ...... Don't forget to salt them - you know you always forget to salt them. ....... Use the salt ! .... USE THE SALT ! ..... THE SALT ! ... THE SALT !
The wife stared at him. "WHAT in the world is wrong with you ?......... You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs ?"
The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to let you know what it feels like when I'm driving."
.
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Then, her husband burst suddenly into the kitchen.
"Be careful", he said, "CAREFUL ! ....... Put in some more butter ! ........ Oh my gosh ! ... You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY ! Turn them ! TURN THEM NOW ! ........ We need more butter...... Oh my gosh ! .... WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER now ?... ...... They're going to STICK ! ...... Careful, CAREFUL ! I SAID BE CAREFUL ! ........... You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking ! ........ NEVER !............ TURN them !.... HURRY UP ! .... Are you CRAZY ? ........ HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND ? ...... Don't forget to salt them - you know you always forget to salt them. ....... Use the salt ! .... USE THE SALT ! ..... THE SALT ! ... THE SALT !
The wife stared at him. "WHAT in the world is wrong with you ?......... You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs ?"
The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to let you know what it feels like when I'm driving."
.
Re: How To Fry Eggs
Been there!
Re: How To Fry Eggs
The Rotten Fruit Always Hits The Ground First
Proud Life Member Of:
NRA
Second Amendment Foundation
Citizens Committee For The Right To Keep And Bear Arms
DAV
Proud Life Member Of:
NRA
Second Amendment Foundation
Citizens Committee For The Right To Keep And Bear Arms
DAV
Re: How To Fry Eggs
We had a back seat driver once.
Made up a sign for the windscreen, "Driver Under Instruction".
Futile, once a bsd, always a bsd.
Yours on L plates, Mark.
Made up a sign for the windscreen, "Driver Under Instruction".
Futile, once a bsd, always a bsd.
Yours on L plates, Mark.
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Re: How To Fry Eggs
I might just send this to a BSD I know.
Whatever you do always give 100%........... unless you are donating blood.
Re: How To Fry Eggs
Because I Can, and Have
-------------------------------------------------------------
USAF-72-76
God Bless America.
Disclaimer, not responsible for anyone copying or building anything i make.
Always consult an expert first.
-------------------------------------------------------------
USAF-72-76
God Bless America.
Disclaimer, not responsible for anyone copying or building anything i make.
Always consult an expert first.
Re: How To Fry Eggs
And then he made the trip to the ER for the grease burns on his face. Tis best to know when to keep your mouth shut.
Jeepnik AKA "Old Eyes"
"Go low, go slow and preferably in the dark" The old Sarge (he was maybe 24.
"Freedom is never more that a generation from extinction" Ronald Reagan
"Every man should have at least one good rifle and know how to use it" Dad
"Go low, go slow and preferably in the dark" The old Sarge (he was maybe 24.
"Freedom is never more that a generation from extinction" Ronald Reagan
"Every man should have at least one good rifle and know how to use it" Dad
- Griff
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Re: How To Fry Eggs
If you're a cop (or ex-cop), you don't catch folks by "driving defensively"... Being of the "a good defense is only bested by a better offense" driving school mindset... I'm often called out by back seat drivers. Namely my son. But, like I told him on the day he got his 'learner's permit'... "If you're too scared to speed up and merge into traffic, stay on the frontage road. We'll figure out how to cross the lake on side roads..."
Now, driving a "big truck", one thing I hate is the "pack mentality"... Space is our mutual friend... you wanna pass me, it's okay. But, (insert favored naval expletive here) PASS me already! And wait till I won't be tailgating you when you do! And whatever you do, don't pull back in front AND slow down! I often wonder to myself what're people thinking... when they pull back in front of my rig, (which empty weighs nearly 35,000 lbs)... with just 5-10 feet to spare, so that little 3,600 lb p/u on their bumper can get around THEM...
I learned to drive when there were far more two-lane roads than folks deal with today. When passing meant getting into oncoming traffic (hopefully you were aware of the need to pick opportune times), to pass someone... So, I was taught to speed (insert favored naval expletive here) up in order to reduce the time you were in that oncoming traffic lane. I've never had anyone tell me the same directive doesn't apply on 4-, 6-, or even 8 lane roads!
Oh, and just so you can't ever say "...no one ever told me that...", that big heavy truck you passed going uphill... is very likely to quickly get back up to the speed limit going down... so if you don't keep YOUR speed up, you're relying on his brakes to keep from runnin' over your azz! Those are called "drag 'n' fly" trucks. Speed governed trucks are both a 'good' and 'bad' thing. Good in that they CAN'T go too fast... bad in that they instill a desire to make up the time they can't go the speed limit. If you ever noticed, Schneider, Prime, CFI, Swift, among several others will be seen inside city limits being issued speeding citations... That's because they're governed below the highway speed limit, and the driver feels they HAVE to keep that speed up to make their delivery on time.
Okay, rant off!
Now, driving a "big truck", one thing I hate is the "pack mentality"... Space is our mutual friend... you wanna pass me, it's okay. But, (insert favored naval expletive here) PASS me already! And wait till I won't be tailgating you when you do! And whatever you do, don't pull back in front AND slow down! I often wonder to myself what're people thinking... when they pull back in front of my rig, (which empty weighs nearly 35,000 lbs)... with just 5-10 feet to spare, so that little 3,600 lb p/u on their bumper can get around THEM...
I learned to drive when there were far more two-lane roads than folks deal with today. When passing meant getting into oncoming traffic (hopefully you were aware of the need to pick opportune times), to pass someone... So, I was taught to speed (insert favored naval expletive here) up in order to reduce the time you were in that oncoming traffic lane. I've never had anyone tell me the same directive doesn't apply on 4-, 6-, or even 8 lane roads!
Oh, and just so you can't ever say "...no one ever told me that...", that big heavy truck you passed going uphill... is very likely to quickly get back up to the speed limit going down... so if you don't keep YOUR speed up, you're relying on his brakes to keep from runnin' over your azz! Those are called "drag 'n' fly" trucks. Speed governed trucks are both a 'good' and 'bad' thing. Good in that they CAN'T go too fast... bad in that they instill a desire to make up the time they can't go the speed limit. If you ever noticed, Schneider, Prime, CFI, Swift, among several others will be seen inside city limits being issued speeding citations... That's because they're governed below the highway speed limit, and the driver feels they HAVE to keep that speed up to make their delivery on time.
Okay, rant off!
Griff,
SASS/CMSA #93
NRA Patron
GUSA #93
There is a fine line between hobby & obsession!
AND... I'm over it!!
No I ain't ready, but let's do it anyway!
SASS/CMSA #93
NRA Patron
GUSA #93
There is a fine line between hobby & obsession!
AND... I'm over it!!
No I ain't ready, but let's do it anyway!
Re: How To Fry Eggs
... and he lived happily ever after. Eating cold oatmeal for breakfast.
I'm positive God created the universe... I'm just not convinced He had any choice in the matter.
-A. Einstein
-A. Einstein
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Re: How To Fry Eggs
Bingo!
- Sixgun
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Re: How To Fry Eggs
I sure can relate to that!----6
Re: How To Fry Eggs
And every other meal until the new teeth were installed.
Jeepnik AKA "Old Eyes"
"Go low, go slow and preferably in the dark" The old Sarge (he was maybe 24.
"Freedom is never more that a generation from extinction" Ronald Reagan
"Every man should have at least one good rifle and know how to use it" Dad
"Go low, go slow and preferably in the dark" The old Sarge (he was maybe 24.
"Freedom is never more that a generation from extinction" Ronald Reagan
"Every man should have at least one good rifle and know how to use it" Dad
Re: How To Fry Eggs
My wife doesn`t say anything, she just sits there holding the door handle.
Because I Can, and Have
-------------------------------------------------------------
USAF-72-76
God Bless America.
Disclaimer, not responsible for anyone copying or building anything i make.
Always consult an expert first.
-------------------------------------------------------------
USAF-72-76
God Bless America.
Disclaimer, not responsible for anyone copying or building anything i make.
Always consult an expert first.
Re: How To Fry Eggs
The vast majority of the heavy truck drivers are there to do a job. In most cases, is is a pleasure to share the roads with them.
The amateurs, heaven help us.
Mark
The amateurs, heaven help us.
Mark
Re: How To Fry Eggs
After being married to the same Irish woman for 38 years one thing I've ;earned is that you need to pick your battles.
If you're gonna be stupid ya gotta be tough-
Isiah 55:8&9
It's easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled.
Isiah 55:8&9
It's easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled.
Re: How To Fry Eggs
Basically, it's in response to Griff's reply.
Leave it to those that can do the job.
Cheers Mark
Leave it to those that can do the job.
Cheers Mark