father dieing

brucew44guns · Post by **brucew44guns** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 6:33 am

I'll be off the forum a few days, got to make a run from Kansas to Hemet, California. It's about 1400 miles, piece of cake. My poor old dad is ailing from cancer, and may only have about 90 days or less to live, so I sure need to see him before they dope him up real bad. He's got a hospital bed in his house, and hospice is involved in helping out. He quit smoking 35 years ago, yet lung cancer is taking him down. He's 86 now, had a good life, no complaints from him, but it's sad. I got my first lever from him, #4079 long tang model 71 deluxe, still in mint shape.

DBW · Post by **DBW** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 6:49 am

Travel safe friend. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your father.

Borregos · Post by **Borregos** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 6:52 am

It's always sad even if someone has had a good life and reached that age. You will have wonderful memories I'm sure, I know I have. Safe journey. There will be a lot of thoughts and prayers with you.

Tycer · Post by **Tycer** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 6:58 am

Steel yourself for his visual appearance. It may be very different from the last time you saw him. Try to see past it to the man he once was. I cared for my father while he died of cancer and when my siblings came, they only came once. It was too hard for them te see him like that. I sure needed them. Dad did too. Also, it took me several months before I grieved. It was the tiniest thing that sparked it and when it was over, I've been able to have a great dialog/monolog with him ever since.

I feel for ya. Prayers up for you and yours. If this is the end for your dad, may the angels of mercy move swiftly.

1886 · Post by **1886** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 7:32 am

Best wishes Bruce. 1886.

BenT · Post by **BenT** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 7:42 am

Travel safe and enjoy your fathers time as much as you can.

AJMD429 · Post by **AJMD429** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 7:56 am

Terminal patients also don't usually like it when friends and relatives 'dance around' the issue of their imminent death. Not to dwell on it, but at least acknowledging it, is important to them - after all - it IS the biggest issue going on, and the reason everyone is suddenly visiting.

gamekeeper · Post by **gamekeeper** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 8:03 am

Safe journey and may God bless you and your father. Prayers sent.

2ndovc · Post by **2ndovc** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 8:03 am

Sorry to hear that Bruce.

Like Tycer says. Be prepared. That last time I saw my Grandfather in the hospital with his last bout with cancer, I barely recognized him. I used to call him the " Tough Old Kraut", a big man I was always a little scared of. What I saw was a frail ghost of the man I knew.

Best whishes.

jason

gundownunder · Post by **gundownunder** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 8:10 am

I feel for you man.
Have a safe trip.
My grandfather died of cancer at 96, but we took comfort in the fact that he had a full life,
and yeh, he was a tough old kraut too

nemhed · Post by **nemhed** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 8:30 am

You, your father, and your family are in my prayers!

Tycer · Post by **Tycer** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 8:31 am

AJMD429 wrote:Terminal patients also don't usually like it when friends and relatives 'dance around' the issue of their imminent death. Not to dwell on it, but at least acknowledging it, is important to them - after all - it IS the biggest issue going on, and the reason everyone is suddenly visiting.

EXCELLENT POINT!!!!

Bruce · Post by **Bruce** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 8:35 am

I just lost my father last week from cancer. He was 77 years old and one fine man. I was lucky in that I had retired a year ago and was able to spend the last few months with him. I found that all of the advise and wisdom already given to you is exactly right. He knows what is happening and the time spent with him has meaning to him and everyone involved. Some people including close family may not be able to accept what is happening, but don't hold it agaisnt them. Make sure that you talk with him while he can and make sure you know his wishes.

C. Cash · Post by **C. Cash** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 9:11 am

Prayers going up Bruce! Very sorry to hear this.....

Hagler · Post by **Hagler** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 9:20 am

Prayers sent.

Shawn

86er · Post by **86er** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 9:22 am

Prayer for both of your pending trips....

Doc Hudson · Post by **Doc Hudson** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 9:23 am

You have my deepest sympathy, I lost my Dad to prostate cancer 6 1/2 years ago.

Drive safe and may God Bless you all.

.45colt · Post by **.45colt** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 9:28 am

Prayers Sent.

Post by **Ysabel Kid** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 9:30 am

darn Bruce - I'm sorry to hear this. Travel safe my friend; prayers are up for you and your father.

66GTO · Post by **66GTO** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 9:34 am

Be thankful that you can be with your Father during his last days. I know that he will be thankful.

It is a hard thing to deal with, even when expected. I was grateful that I was with my father when he died. I was holding his hand as he took his last breath.

Post by **Hobie** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 9:51 am

Take care. Prayers said for all.

He might want to impart some final thoughts. Pay attention! I think there's some clarity there, doped or not.

Modoc ED · Post by **Modoc ED** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 9:54 am

Sorry to hear that. Both you and your Dad are in my thoughts. Take care.

dr walker · Post by **dr walker** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 10:23 am

Bruce,
Thats going to be a tough one, Prayers to your family.

Post by **Old Savage** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 10:28 am

I wish both of you the best in this hard time.

CowboyTutt · Post by **CowboyTutt** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 11:06 am

Bruce, I lost my Dad unexpectedly 10 years ago. I have never been the same since. My heart goes out to you. Prayers sent.

-Tutt

rjohns94 · Post by **rjohns94** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 11:10 am

prayers for you and your family. I just can't imagine loosing my dad. blessings

salvo · Post by **salvo** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 12:22 pm

Bruce it took me a few visits here before I had the courage to read your post, my parents are still doing pretty well and I know I will have a hard time after their passing. My prayers and thoughts are with you and yours, have a good visit and a safe trip.

Nath · Post by **Nath** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 12:53 pm

Travel safe and please say hi from over here.

Gods grace.

Nath.

O.S.O.K. · Post by **O.S.O.K.** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 12:54 pm

Bruce - good for you to make this trip now. He will appreciate it and you will have this memory of him to take forward.

Safe travels and prayers sent for you and your family.

GANJIRO · Post by **GANJIRO** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 1:27 pm

brucew44guns wrote:I'll be off the forum a few days, got to make a run from Kansas to Hemet, California. It's about 1400 miles, piece of cake. My poor old dad is ailing from cancer, and may only have about 90 days or less to live, so I sure need to see him before they dope him up real bad. He's got a hospital bed in his house, and hospice is involved in helping out. He quit smoking 35 years ago, yet lung cancer is taking him down. He's 86 now, had a good life, no complaints from him, but it's sad. I got my first lever from him, #4079 long tang model 71 deluxe, still in mint shape.

Bruce your situation is a composite of mine, my mom was terminal on home hospice when I flew home to help Dad take care of her and make her final days as comfortable as possible. My Dad was 86 at the time my mom finally passed away, and when he followed her 2 months later. Neither had regrets at the time of there passing having lived a good life together. Dad also got me my first levergun which I still have my 1894 Marlin 44 mag in 1976. I feel what you're going thru and my prayers for strength and peace are with both you and your Dad. Spending as much quality time with Dad these upcoming days are so important and you are a great son for having your priorities straight. Be strong for Dad and enjoy your time together.

Jayhawker · Post by **Jayhawker** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 2:34 pm

My condolences on your impending loss. Rekindle and share some good memories with him before it's too late.

Last month, I made the opposite trip from San Diego to Topeka to attend my mother's funeral and last summer we lost my wife's father. Suddenly, we are the oldest generation in our respective immediate families. It really makes one start to think and reflect. Stay safe on your trip.

RIHMFIRE · Post by **RIHMFIRE** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 2:35 pm

prayers up...

Sixgun · Post by **Sixgun** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 5:43 pm

Sorry to hear it. Its not easy as I think about my Dad everyday. We were best pals. My Dad always wanted to go on a hunting trip to Colorado, so I took him. He died shortly after. Here's my son, Sixgun Jr. getting ready to whack him with an 1886 in .33.-----------------------Sixgun

iceman · Post by **iceman** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 6:26 pm

Safe trip. I lost my dad 8 1/2 years ago and my FIL last year. Both were deep losses. Enjoy what time you have left and don't be afraid to ask questions about your roots. I didn't ask enough questions about my grand and great grand parents and deeply regret it. We must now carry the flame and it will be much brighter with more knowledge of our past. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours and may he have a peaceful and painless passing to his just rewards to prepare a place for us.

GEOFF · Post by **GEOFF** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 7:51 pm

Bruce44,

My heart is with you my friend. I've been thru it and know you are in for a bit of a trial. I know you wil pass the test. Lots of good advice above. Be strong for your dad, tell him you love him and I know you will thank him. Don't waste a minute of the time that is left. My father died almost 11 years ago, seriously not a day goes by I don't remember him fondly!

Get your strength from Above!

Geoff

Post by **Chuck 100 yd** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 7:58 pm

Prayers for you both.

Old Time Hunter · Post by **Old Time Hunter** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 8:05 pm

Prayers from all of mine to both of yours...both Bruces.

marlinman93 · Post by **marlinman93** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 8:15 pm

Prayers for a safe trip Bruce. And prayers for your dad and your whole family!

Thunder50 · Post by **Thunder50** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 9:08 pm

Prayers sent for you and your father.

Had the same thing, about 2 years ago. Almost in your dads backyard over in Redlands. Went out on a Monday (drove straight thru--something told me to get out there NOW). Was holding his hand when he died that Friday evening. He was good when I got there and gone 4 days later. So glad I could be there. I didn't know what I was going to lose, until he was gone. You always think you are going to have time. Its good you are going to have some time, you will remember it always.

Mokwaw · Post by **Mokwaw** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 9:12 pm

Comfort and safe travel prayers are up for you. Cancer took my father in 1987, he was 57 yrs old......22 yrs ago, I still miss him very much.

Griff · Post by **Griff** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 9:16 pm

Be safe Bruce. My prayers are with ya.

cnjarvis · Post by **cnjarvis** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 9:16 pm

Sorry to hear that friend. Prayers sent.

kimwcook · Post by **kimwcook** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 9:35 pm

Prayers for your father, you and your family. God bless.

KirkD · Post by **KirkD** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 10:21 pm

Sorry to hear about your father. You will never regret going to seeing him at this time. Hope it goes well.

20cows · Post by **20cows** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 10:34 pm

You will always treasure this last visit, even though it is a hard time.

Godspeed!

GonnePhishin · Post by **GonnePhishin** » Tue Feb 03, 2009 11:50 pm

Bruce,

My prayers go out to your Dad and you. I know what its like to have a family member die from cancer.

Via Con Dios!

UncleBuck

JohndeFresno · Post by **JohndeFresno** » Wed Feb 04, 2009 1:28 am

Prayers from Central California. I lost my father similarly. Think of some gentle and happy memories to share with him while you are on route, and it will uplift both of you. May God bless you, your dad and your loved ones in this most difficult time.

Jaguarundi · Post by **Jaguarundi** » Wed Feb 04, 2009 1:39 am

Godbless & Godspeed your travels.

Rexster · Post by **Rexster** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 2:05 pm

Y'all are in my prayers.

mod71alaska · Post by **mod71alaska** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 2:41 pm

Email sent.