Goodbye to my beloved wife

Steelbanger · Post by **Steelbanger** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 2:27 pm

I haven't posted much anywhere in a very long time due to being a caregiver to my wife, Carol. She was valiantly fighting metastatic melanoma for 2 1/2 years, enduring surgery, chemotherapy, radiation and countless scans, tests, drugs and treatments, losing her battle on November 17th. This Christmas was the most depressing, sad occasion that a person could endure. I long to hold her again, feel her gentle touch, but it's not to be. We had been married just a few months shy of 50 years and she was my life, the type of woman that you're proud and happy to be with. High school sweethearts into our golden years. I have family nearby so it's not that I'm alone, still there is a most significant part of my life gone. She was my travel partner, sometimes shooting partner, spotter, cheerleader, wife, lover, best friend. She was quite a shooter too, one time she ran 15 pigs in a row with her Contender! Man, was that a happy day for us!

Last Christmas, out of the blue, she surprised me with a rifle, one that I casually mentioned a month or so earlier. Deep down I realize she knew that would probably be her last Christmas and made it memorable for me. Over the years she often managed to surprise me at Christmastime with gifts like a PACT chronograph, digital camera, and many hobby related items.

Attached is a picture of Carol from April of 09. Her hair had just come back after chemo and was only about 1/2" long. In the early fall she lost all that hair again after having whole brain radiation. No person should have to endure all that she went through. I'm sure there's a special spot for her in heaven and no one deserves it more than she. Carol was 67 years old.

I really lost interest in hunting and shooting during her illness and will now try to rekindle that fire from the remaining tiny ember still glowing.

I hope your Christmas was merry and have a happy new year. And give your wife a loving hug too. It'll make you both feel good.

Frank

Buck Elliott · Post by **Buck Elliott** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 2:34 pm

May she rest in Peace, and may you find Peace in the coming months & years.

So sorry for your terrible loss.

Remember the years you had together, and be grateful.

Nath · Post by **Nath** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 2:39 pm

Thankyou Frank ,your words are so touching. I found myself celebrating your lovely wife with all the good things you spoke of her.
Through Christ we are all in God's memory and I know he will bless her.

Get out in the wilds, no finer place to keep in touch.

The love you have for each other is a wonderfull shining example to all of us, good on you Sir.

Nath.

Post by **Hobie** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 2:40 pm

You have our condolences as well. I'm glad you are looking to the future. Our prayers will be with you and your family.

O.S.O.K. · Post by **O.S.O.K.** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 2:43 pm

She is in a better place now free of pain.

Know that she will be there waiting for you when God call's you in.

Will keep you in my prayers.

TedH · Post by **TedH** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 2:48 pm

Frank,
I offer my condolences as well. It sounds as though you were blessed with the perfect partner for many years. Remember this is only a so-long, not goodbye, for you two will be reunited once again when the Lord so chooses.

Retro · Post by **Retro** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 2:48 pm

There is no good time for something like this, but at this time, it especially sucks. My thoughts are with you and others in a similar situation.

Will definitely follow your advice about extra hugs to mine.

Thanks for sharing.

Nate Kiowa Jones · Post by **Nate Kiowa Jones** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 2:56 pm

Hello Frank,
I can't even imagine how it feels to be with someone for nealy 50 years and then lost them. To be with you wife for that many years and then lost her has to be probably hardest thing a person will have to do. I pray that God fills that place in you heart and life soon.

2571 · Post by **2571** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 3:02 pm

mis sentimientsos pesame

Goat · Post by **Goat** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 3:04 pm

I am truely sorry for your loss. I hope that you are able to cherish the memories of the good years you were able to spend together. May the peace of God keep you until you are together again.
Goat

OK357 · Post by **OK357** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 3:04 pm

Your love for her is heartwarming in that you would share your pain with us. I have no family of my own so it is difficult to walk a mile in your shoes. Yet a tear formed at a corner of my eye as I read your simple eulogy. May God provide you with comfort in your temporal loss of your lady. One day you'll be reunited.

CEMENTHEAD · Post by **CEMENTHEAD** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 3:33 pm

Condolences................................................

Doc Hudson · Post by **Doc Hudson** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 3:40 pm

Nothing I could say would make you feel any different of better, so i will simply say that you and your family have my heartfelt condolences and you will be in my prayers.

God Bless,

Doc

RIHMFIRE · Post by **RIHMFIRE** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 3:48 pm

My Condolences....
we are here if you need us.....

C. Cash · Post by **C. Cash** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 3:52 pm

God Bless you Sir...very sorry for your loss. Amen to all said. Chris

336A · Post by **336A** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 4:05 pm

Very sorry to hear of your loss, my condolences.

Post by **Chuck 100 yd** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 4:15 pm

Sorry friend. My thoughts and prayers are up for both of you.

J Miller · Post by **J Miller** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 4:21 pm

Frank,

I am so sorry. You have my sincerest condolences.

Joe

20cows · Post by **20cows** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 4:32 pm

No words...

kimwcook · Post by **kimwcook** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 4:46 pm

Frank, I have no idea what you're going through, but please accept my deepest condolences for your loss. I can't imagine how hard this time is for you. God bless.

adirondakjack · Post by **adirondakjack** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 4:51 pm

Sorry to hear of your loss. Time will NOT heal all wounds, but it will make life more bearable and even fun again eventually. Hang tough, pard.

Post by **Old Savage** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 5:03 pm

Hobie said it.

AJMD429 · Post by **AJMD429** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 5:46 pm

Haven't 'been there' or 'done that' - but I've been with many patients and spouses as they went there and did that. It's horrible beyond words, for both of them - usually worse for the one without the illness than the one with it. The one positive thing that I see consistently is that although part of the survivor is ripped away and buried with the deceased, a very real, if not tactile, part of the deceased remains totally bonded to, and part of, the survivor. THAT is the miracle and blessing of marital love.

Thanks for posting the picture - she's a beautiful woman; even after the stuff she'd been through, you can see a sparkle in her eye. You may be a very sad man right now, but you lived many years as a very lucky one to have her.

Griff · Post by **Griff** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 6:02 pm

Steelbanger,

Please accept my most sincere condolences. May she rest in peace, and hopefully the knowledge that she's in a better place ease some of your pain. Our entire life is but a journey that can only be traveled one step at a time. May your steps soon ease off the rocks and onto a paved path.

Haycock · Post by **Haycock** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 6:05 pm

Peace, blessings and condolences to you and your family. I met my wife when I was 18 and we've been together... dating, livin' in sin, then married... for 20 years now. I honestly cannot imagine the depth and profundity of your loss, 50 years in.

Glad you saw fit to share this with us here. I hope our words and prayers offer you some small measure of comfort.

Haycock

iceman · Post by **iceman** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 6:43 pm

I have nothing to add to what has been so eloquently said so far. You have to know (I hope) that we are hear to listen to anything you have to say. I am certain that all of us here are willing to help shoulder the unbelieveable load that you have on back and do anything we can to see you through it. Just let us know. God bless you and yours.

FWiedner · Post by **FWiedner** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 6:48 pm

I just can't imagine what I'd do without my lovely wife.

I am so sorry for your loss.

I hope that she has, and you will, find some peace.

rangerider7 · Post by **rangerider7** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 6:49 pm

My prayers and thoughts are with you. God Bless.

gamekeeper · Post by **gamekeeper** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 6:59 pm

My condolences.

I know it's easy for me to say this but:
Be happy that when using that special rifle, you are doing exactly like your beautiful wife intended you to do.

Bogie35 · Post by **Bogie35** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 7:35 pm

God bless you Frank. I simply can't imagine what you're going through. So, I'm praying for you and your loved ones.

bogie

Dave · Post by **Dave** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 8:03 pm

You have my sincere condolences. Praise God for your wonderful marriage and rely on him to fill you with strength and peace.

Tycer · Post by **Tycer** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 8:10 pm

Heal well friend.

GonnePhishin · Post by **GonnePhishin** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 8:18 pm

My sincerest condolences to you and your family...

pokey · Post by **pokey** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 8:32 pm

what everyone else said.

fordwannabe · Post by **fordwannabe** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 8:47 pm

Steelbanger, nothing I can say except God Bless you.

WCF3030 · Post by **WCF3030** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 8:52 pm

Very sorry to hear of your loss, my condolences.

BenT · Post by **BenT** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 9:15 pm

Sorry for your loss. Sounds like you were a very lucky man for 50 years.

horsesoldier03 · Post by **horsesoldier03** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 9:38 pm

Prayers sent! Although I am sure your wounds will never be healed from her loss!

Old Time Hunter · Post by **Old Time Hunter** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 9:42 pm

Prayers sent!

KirkD · Post by **KirkD** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 9:54 pm

Frank, I can't even imagine what it is like. You have my deepest sympathy. May God be with you to strengthen you and to somehow fill the emptiness and loneliness.

rjohns94 · Post by **rjohns94** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 10:50 pm

Praying for you peace and comfort. Blessings.

Mutt · Post by **Mutt** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 11:07 pm

May God be with you ...............Mutt

Terry Murbach · Post by **Terry Murbach** » Sat Dec 26, 2009 11:08 pm

OUR DEEPEST AND HEART FELT SYMPATHIES, SIR.

2X22 · Post by **2X22** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 1:12 am

Frank, I am so sorry for you and your families loss. I have no words to express the depths of my sympathy.

She is with God.

2x22

arjunky · Post by **arjunky** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 2:04 am

Very sorry for your loss.

Byron

mklwhite · Post by **mklwhite** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 5:10 am

I am sorry that she is no longer in your life however I am so glad that you were blessed to have her a part of it. She goes forward with you in your heart and your dreams, and in the fullness of time will be reunited with you. Her life is to be celebrated as surely as her physical absence from yours will be missed.

Noah Zark · Post by **Noah Zark** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 8:24 am

I am very sorry to learn of your loss. Prayers for the strength to cope.

Noah

38 Special · Post by **38 Special** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 9:16 am

I am so very sorry to read your sad news, I send prayers of comfort for you and your family at this difficult time. These words written below are very special in my thoughts, I hope perhaps they might help you a little.

Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away to the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
That, we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way
which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me. Pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect.
Without the trace of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same that it ever was.
There is absolute unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?

I am but waiting for you.
For an interval.
Somewhere. Very near.
Just around the corner.

All is well.

firefuzz · Post by **firefuzz** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 9:39 am

I have no words for you my friend, but my heart aches and eyes water reading of your loss. My prayers and thoughts are with you. May God's peace be with you for only he is the healer of hurts like this.

Rob

nemhed · Post by **nemhed** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 10:12 am

You and your family are in my prayers!