Retirement
Forum rules
Welcome to the Leverguns.Com General Discussions Forum. This is a high-class place so act respectable. We discuss most anything here other than politics... politely.
Please post political post in the new Politics forum.
Welcome to the Leverguns.Com General Discussions Forum. This is a high-class place so act respectable. We discuss most anything here other than politics... politely.
Please post political post in the new Politics forum.
Retirement
One day a man decided to retire...
He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded
to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.
He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies,
nothing, only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when
the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.
In disbelief, he asks,"Where did you come from? How did you get here?"
She replies, "I rowed over from the other side of the island where
I landed when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you."
"Oh, this thing?" explains the woman."I made the boat out of some raw material I
found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm tree branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."
"But, where did you get the tools?"
"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the island,
a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron and I used that to make tools and
used the tools to make the hardware."
The guy is stunned.
"Let's row over to my place," she says "and I'll give you a tour."
So, after a short time of rowing, she soon docks the boat at a small wharf.
As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a long
stone walk leading to a cabin and tree house.
While the woman ties up the row boat with an expertly woven hemp rope,
the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house,
she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Please sit down."
"Would you like a drink?"
"No! No thank you," the man blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another drop
of coconut juice."
"Oh it's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you
like a Tropical Spritz?"
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down
on her couch to talk. After they exchange their individual survival stories,
the woman announces,
"I'm going to slip into something more comfortable.
Would you like to take a shower and shave? There's a razor in the bathroom
cabinet upstairs."
No longer questioning anything, the man goes upstairs into the bathroom.
There, in the cabinet is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone.
Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside
a swivel mechanism.
"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What's next?"
When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but some small flowers on tiny vines, each strategically positioned,
she smelled faintly of gardenias. She then beckons for him to sit down next to her.
"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him,"We've both been out here for many months.
You must have been lonely. When was the last time you played around? She stares eagerly into his eyes.
He can't believe what he's hearing."You mean..." he swallows excitedly as tears start to form in his eyes,
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
"You've built a Golf Course?"
He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded
to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.
He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies,
nothing, only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when
the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.
In disbelief, he asks,"Where did you come from? How did you get here?"
She replies, "I rowed over from the other side of the island where
I landed when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you."
"Oh, this thing?" explains the woman."I made the boat out of some raw material I
found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm tree branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."
"But, where did you get the tools?"
"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the island,
a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron and I used that to make tools and
used the tools to make the hardware."
The guy is stunned.
"Let's row over to my place," she says "and I'll give you a tour."
So, after a short time of rowing, she soon docks the boat at a small wharf.
As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a long
stone walk leading to a cabin and tree house.
While the woman ties up the row boat with an expertly woven hemp rope,
the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house,
she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Please sit down."
"Would you like a drink?"
"No! No thank you," the man blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another drop
of coconut juice."
"Oh it's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you
like a Tropical Spritz?"
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down
on her couch to talk. After they exchange their individual survival stories,
the woman announces,
"I'm going to slip into something more comfortable.
Would you like to take a shower and shave? There's a razor in the bathroom
cabinet upstairs."
No longer questioning anything, the man goes upstairs into the bathroom.
There, in the cabinet is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone.
Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside
a swivel mechanism.
"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What's next?"
When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but some small flowers on tiny vines, each strategically positioned,
she smelled faintly of gardenias. She then beckons for him to sit down next to her.
"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him,"We've both been out here for many months.
You must have been lonely. When was the last time you played around? She stares eagerly into his eyes.
He can't believe what he's hearing."You mean..." he swallows excitedly as tears start to form in his eyes,
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
"You've built a Golf Course?"
The Rotten Fruit Always Hits The Ground First
Proud Life Member Of:
NRA
Second Amendment Foundation
Citizens Committee For The Right To Keep And Bear Arms
DAV
Proud Life Member Of:
NRA
Second Amendment Foundation
Citizens Committee For The Right To Keep And Bear Arms
DAV
Re: Retirement
'
ROTFLMAO ! !
Ain't THAT the truth ! .
.
ROTFLMAO ! !
Ain't THAT the truth ! .
.
- Griff
- Posting leader...
- Posts: 20869
- Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2007 4:56 pm
- Location: OH MY GAWD they installed a STOP light!!!
Re: Retirement
Pete44ru wrote:'ROTFLMAO ! !
Ain't THAT the truth ! .
.
Griff,
SASS/CMSA #93
NRA Patron
GUSA #93
There is a fine line between hobby & obsession!
AND... I'm over it!!
No I ain't ready, but let's do it anyway!
SASS/CMSA #93
NRA Patron
GUSA #93
There is a fine line between hobby & obsession!
AND... I'm over it!!
No I ain't ready, but let's do it anyway!
-
- Levergunner 2.0
- Posts: 249
- Joined: Wed Dec 19, 2007 12:12 am
- Location: Boise, Id
Re: Retirement
My co workers are threatening my life after that one.
Chris
Chris
- 2ndovc
- Advanced Levergunner
- Posts: 9357
- Joined: Fri Sep 07, 2007 11:59 am
- Location: OH, South Shore of Lake Erie
Re: Retirement
That was a good one!
jb
jb
jasonB " Another Dirty Yankee"
" Tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"
" Tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?"
-
- Levergunner 2.0
- Posts: 229
- Joined: Wed Nov 25, 2009 12:09 pm
- Location: Bismarck ,Arkansas
Re: Retirement
That was nasty.
-
- Advanced Levergunner
- Posts: 4296
- Joined: Wed Sep 15, 2010 12:57 pm
- Location: Vinita, I.T.
Re: Retirement
GROAN!!!
But a good chuckle too.
But a good chuckle too.
M. M. Wright, Sheriff, Green county Arkansas (1860)
Currently living my eternal life.
NRA Life
SASS
ITSASS
Currently living my eternal life.
NRA Life
SASS
ITSASS
- Old Ironsights
- Posting leader...
- Posts: 15084
- Joined: Mon Apr 02, 2007 9:27 am
- Location: Waiting for the Collapse
- Contact:
Re: Retirement
Sadly, it reminds me of another joke/truism...
'Roid Rage' means something totally other when you are over 40...
'Roid Rage' means something totally other when you are over 40...
C2N14... because life is not energetic enough.
מנא, מנא, תקל, ופרסין Daniel 5:25-28... Got 7.62?
Not Depressed enough yet? Go read National Geographic, July 1976
Gott und Gewehr mit uns!
מנא, מנא, תקל, ופרסין Daniel 5:25-28... Got 7.62?
Not Depressed enough yet? Go read National Geographic, July 1976
Gott und Gewehr mit uns!