Fare well mom.

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Tycer
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Fare well mom.

Post by Tycer »

Hi all,

Nancy and I went to visit my mom in New Orleans this past week. It was a planned trip just to go visit. Four weeks ago, between the time we booked out flight and the trip, mom was hospitalized for congestive heart failure and received two stents. She was discharged quickly with better blood flow and a prescription for oxygen, but with some unrepairable damage in another part of her heart, probably caused by radiation from an old bout with breast cancer.

Mom looks good; bright eyes, clear head, pretty skin and hair, dressed well sitting in a recliner in the sunroom overlooking her immaculate garden where she's slept the past few years. You would never know she's dying to look at her but she is. She eats well, gets plenty of fluids but is still losing about a quarter pound of weight each day.

We had a great visit. We talked about our lives together, I cooked her some gumbo and cornbread from her recipe, I pruned some shrubs that were in need of a haircut, dug up a plant that didn't quite fit the spot she had planted it and bought a different plant to put there. We talked without tears or angst. Mom and I share the same belief in the Lord and I know all is well and death is just the next step. I asked about her wishes regarding her remains and told her how odd it was to be having these conversations when she didn't look or sound like she's dying.

One of my favorite memories of my mom was from my childhood; both of us on the couch with my head in her lap and her just chatting away while softly stroking my hair. Yesterday, before I looked at my living mom for the last time, I sat at her feet, laid my head in her lap and created a memory I will cherish til we meet again. It was magical. The second her hand touched my hair we were both back at that time in my childhood, her just dreamily chatting away about shared events that happened forty plus years ago. Good stuff.

Fare well mom. I will miss you.


Kind regards from the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains

Tycer


P.S.: I will be talking to mom every day until she passes and I'll keep y'all posted. I also want to give my sincerest thanks to my sister and her family for taking such good care of mom. I know it's hard, I wish I could help more.
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Old Savage
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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by Old Savage »

Blue Ridge mountains, Shenandoah River ... Tycer, I wish you strength and comfort to her. Hard poignant time. Just about 40 years ago I last saw my mother going through something of a similar nature. Wish you the best in this as you both go through it.
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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by Griff »

Prayers up to see you thru this time, Tycer. I cringe everytime my phone rings and it's my Sister or Niece... If I've missed their call, I always listen to their message before calling them back... The last time, sis sez, "don't worry brother, Mom'll be out of the hostipal tomorrow..."

I'm glad you had this time to visit... and create a lasting memory. I take every opportunity I can to visit mine.
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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by Hobie »

God has blessed you both. Thank you for sharing.
Sincerely,

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C. Cash
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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by C. Cash »

Amen to all said. Prayer up for you, Mom and family.
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BigSky56
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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by BigSky56 »

Tycer Its a hard thing to see a loved one pass slowly it tests our metal all you can do is support and give them back the love they gave you, I will pray for a peaceful passing for your Mom. you take care. danny
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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by AJMD429 »

I think we all feel honored that you would share that very personal experience with us.

You have a life-philosophy which the rest of us can draw strength from. A well-lived life, especially if it was able to be a reasonably long one, is a thing of beauty, from start to finish. Celebrate every stage, and the spiritual ones beyond.
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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by wm »

My thoughts & prayers are with you both.

Wm
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Borregos
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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by Borregos »

wm wrote:My thoughts & prayers are with you both.

Wm
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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by gamekeeper »

Prayers sent.
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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by Pitchy »

Praying for all concerned bro.
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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by TedH »

You are all indeed blessed. Prayers for all.
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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by JReed »

Prayers for you and your family.
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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by Rusty »

Praying for Grace.
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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by Blaine »

Stay strong....Prayers up for all you guys.....
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Bill in Oregon
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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by Bill in Oregon »

Tycer, like doc said, I am honored that you felt comfortable enough to share such a sweet and personal post with us here. You and your Mom really are blessed. My folks are gone, my Mom after 12 years of Alzheimer's. What I would give to have had a chance to have one last cogent conversation with her.
We had my father-in-law move in with us with the same diagnosis and the cardiologist said three to six months tops. I started feeding him ice cream with mountain huckleberries I had picked and frozen, and darn if he didn't stabilize. We had him for three years of laughter and great conversations, except when politics came up.
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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by Pete44ru »

.

Tycer, take condolence that you, your family, and your Mom are at peace with each other - as sometime that's just not in the cards.

Please convey our deepest, to the rest of your family - and may your Mom go with God, if her time comes.

Sometimes, older folks can recover remarkably - My 88-year old Grandmother was hospitalized once, and was a deathly grey color when I visited her.
Twelve hours later, her color had returned, and she lived until 2 days short of her 100th B-Day.

Only God really knows when it's time.



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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by J Miller »

Tycer,

I read your post earlier and shed quite a few tears. You have my condolences and emotional support.

But, do not just call your mom, spend time with her while you can. I lost my mom in 2001 to congestive heart failure. She was in AZ, I was here in IL. I could not get back home to be with her at the last due to finances. When I finally got the word she was in the hospice near the end we sold a rifle, pooled all our funds and went .... I missed her by 18 hours.

I SHOULD HAVE NEVER LEFT HER ALONE! I had my reasons, but in retrospect they were invalid.

No matter what it takes, spend time with her. You'll regret it if you don't.

Been there, done that, still hurting.

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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by 2ndovc »

My thoughts are with you and your mom, but like Joe says; if you can be with her then stay.

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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by rjohns94 »

Praying for you and your family.
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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by DadsMod12 »

You and your family are in my prayers.
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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by GonnePhishin »

Glad you have been able to spend some quality time with your Mom before she takes a turn. It sounds like you had some great memories with her. Prayers offered up for your Mom as well as you and your family.
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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by 20cows »

Praise The Lord for the beautifull memories and the promises of times to come. Prayers.
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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by Ji in Hawaii »

Aloha Tycer, You have my prayers for strength and endurance during such a trying time. As you may recall I went through a similar experience with my mother followed shorty thereafter with my dad 7 years ago. One thing I can be thankful for was that my mom's mind was still alert almost to the end, and that I lived close enough to be able to fly back regularly to help dad with her home hospice taking shifts with my older sis. I was able to be with her at the end holding her in my arms as she gave me her final smile before exhaling her last breath. I still morn her lost but take comfort in knowing she rests peacefully knowing we will eventually be reunited. I feel all that you are going through and wish you strength and comfort.
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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by olyinaz »

Hobie wrote:God has blessed you both. Thank you for sharing.

That said it very succinctly.
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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by RustyJr »

Tycer,
You and your family are in my prayers. It is good to know that we will see our loved ones again.


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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by 86er »

I hope you find condolence in your memories and aspiration in your prayers.
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Tycer
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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by Tycer »

J Miller wrote:Tycer,

I read your post earlier and shed quite a few tears. You have my condolences and emotional support.

But, do not just call your mom, spend time with her while you can. I lost my mom in 2001 to congestive heart failure. She was in AZ, I was here in IL. I could not get back home to be with her at the last due to finances. When I finally got the word she was in the hospice near the end we sold a rifle, pooled all our funds and went .... I missed her by 18 hours.

I SHOULD HAVE NEVER LEFT HER ALONE! I had my reasons, but in retrospect they were invalid.

No matter what it takes, spend time with her. You'll regret it if you don't.

Been there, done that, still hurting.

Joe
Thanks Joe. Sorry for your hurt.
Kind regards,
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Tycer
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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by Tycer »

Pete,
I'd love it for her to recover. She's made of wire and nails with a tough streak a mile deep. Would not surprise me that if she decided to she would. She's pretty set at this point to move on. Six weeks ago she was seriously mobile, gardening, shopping and cooking for my sister's family, driving a manual tranny car in New Orleans CBD and now she's tethered to O2 and gets out of breath walking ten feet to the toilet. She says this is no way to live and she's not interested in fighting her way back over time. I think her two bouts with cancer and losing her thyroid have soured her on the rehab process. C'est la vie.
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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by RIHMFIRE »

Prayers sent.
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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by KirkD »

It got a little smokey in the room when I read your post, Tycer. It was a good post about a priceless time together.
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.45colt
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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by .45colt »

I read Your post yesterday right after it went up.wanted to reply then but the website wouldn't work for Me. Thanks for shareing the memories,My Mom used to stroke My Head just the same....Miss Her.God Bless.
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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by iceman »

I also read your post yesterday but it got very dusty in the house for some reason so I had to close down the laptop. Thanks for sharing with us. I lost my Mom a year ago on May 2nd. My sisters and I were beside her bed when she passed. I know where you are now and feel for you.
My thoughts and prayers for you and yours.
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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by 1894 »

Dusty over here today . Tycer you , your Mom and family have our prayers.
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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by Poohgyrr »

Our best and prayers Tycer. They live on in our memories and in our lives. God Bless.
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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by Nath »

Thankyou Tycer old friend.

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Re: Fare well mom.

Post by Ysabel Kid »

Prayers up brother Tycer! I am sorry for your loss.
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