Sunday Story
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Please post political post in the new Politics forum.
Sunday Story
Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary and then arranging to have her killed.
A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $10,000. The Husband said he was willing to pay that amount but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes and reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.
A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Costco Supermarket. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ole' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.
However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras and observed by the shop's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the premises.
Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.
The next day in the Newspaper, the headline declared:
"ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ Costco "
A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $10,000. The Husband said he was willing to pay that amount but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes and reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.
A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Costco Supermarket. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ole' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.
However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras and observed by the shop's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the premises.
Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.
The next day in the Newspaper, the headline declared:
"ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ Costco "
The Rotten Fruit Always Hits The Ground First
Proud Life Member Of:
NRA
Second Amendment Foundation
Citizens Committee For The Right To Keep And Bear Arms
DAV
Proud Life Member Of:
NRA
Second Amendment Foundation
Citizens Committee For The Right To Keep And Bear Arms
DAV
- gamekeeper
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- Advanced Levergunner
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Re: Sunday Story
Go to your room!
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- Levergunner 3.0
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Re: Sunday Story
Enjoyed it Blaine. Thanks for the laugh!!
Re: Sunday Story
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.... (GROAN ! )..........
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.... (GROAN ! )..........
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- markinalpine
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Re: Sunday Story
OUCH!
Mark
Mark
Any way you sell it,
No matter how you spell it,
When you start to smell it,
BO stinks.
No matter how you spell it,
When you start to smell it,
BO stinks.
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Re: Sunday Story
Years ago one of the guys at work was telling how his mother, a poor single girl had came over from Italy, got pregnant and he was born in a artichoke patch. Another guy said, Oh? She arter choked yuh!
He was touchy about Italian jokes. Another time we punched in on graveyard and I innocently asked him, "Lou, how`ed yer day go?" He blew a fuse on me!
He was touchy about Italian jokes. Another time we punched in on graveyard and I innocently asked him, "Lou, how`ed yer day go?" He blew a fuse on me!
Re: Sunday Story
Groan!! That was a good one!
- plowboy 45
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Re: Sunday Story
"NoPun left behind"TedH wrote:I've come to expect better from you, Blaine.
The Rotten Fruit Always Hits The Ground First
Proud Life Member Of:
NRA
Second Amendment Foundation
Citizens Committee For The Right To Keep And Bear Arms
DAV
Proud Life Member Of:
NRA
Second Amendment Foundation
Citizens Committee For The Right To Keep And Bear Arms
DAV