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Even a blind squirrel finds a nut on occasion.
when talking about a large person. He/She looks like 50lbs of potatoes in a 10 pound bag.
Ain't got the common sense God gave the common dog.
Jeremy
GySgt USMC Ret
To err is human, To forgive is devine, Neither of which is Marine Corps policy Semper Fidelis
You can back up 5 miles of water behind a 2 by 4. (Describing flat country).
Makes me no nevermind. (Just bad grammer I guess)
Six of one and half dozen of another. (This one drives the wife up the wall).
Doesn't know Sh*t from Shinola. (How does the Shinola people feel about this one?)
You darsn't do that. (my Grandfathers contraction of dare not)
Educated Idiot. (My Dads description of a supposed college grad with no common sense.)
I'm going to hit you so hard your grandfather is going to fall down.
Can change a 9 dollar bill with threes (1% of America) (or is that hate speech?)
"Any man who covers his face and packs a gun is a legitimate target for any decent citizen"
Jeff Cooper
Two from my late FiL:
When a plan didn't work - Well that was a foul ball in the tall weeds
When one of the kids had a minor boo-boo - It'll feel better when it quits hurting
Describing something/someone small - knee high to a grasshopper
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
-Mark Twain
Proverbs 3:5; Philippians 4:13
Got to have a Jones for this
Jones for that
This running with the Joneses boy
Just ain't where it's at
When my Grandpa was aggravated at someone he'd always say " He don't know fat cow from poor bull". (this was often directed at politicians) I don't have a clue what it means.
I always took a more litteral interpretation of that one. Some folks aren't very sharp or observant.
Not smart enough to pour pee out of a boot with the directions on the heel.
Bout as wide between the eyes a a grub worm.
Grinning like a mule eating briers.
The sorriest man to sh!t between a pair of heels.
So week I couldn't fanny burp above a whisper.
Description of an untrusted person.
He is the kind of man that would steal a ball of sh!t from a blind tumblebug, give him a hickory nut, then send him the wrong way home.
Tom Richardson wrote:Grinning like a mule eating brier.
Grinning like a opossum eating cactus.
When I was young, and would get in trouble, momma would always threaten to give me back to the Indians. If she didn't want me to wonder off outside she would tell me to stay close or the Indians would get me. So I stayed confused if she was going to give me back to the Indians or if they were going to ambush me out by the barn. One way or the other I always figured I was going to be living with the Indians sooner or later.
soon 2 retire wrote:" Or as late country comedian Jerry Clower would say, "One bite would make a puppy pull a freight train."
Bob in NE Indiana
Oh, how is dear cousin Marcel Ledbetter?
oddly enough, my ex-wife taught the daughter of the man Marcel was based upon. She said that some of he stuff Jerry Clower told about Marcel actually happened to her Dad.
i don't rememer the girl's name but it was not ledbetter.
Doc Hudson, OOF, IOFA, CSA, F&AM, SCV, NRA LIFE MEMBER, IDJRS #002, IDCT, King of Typoists
I remembered another I heard on a cassette tape of a football coach from Lollygage, Texas. After a win "we were as happy as a puppy with two peters." Also their next opponents were a classy football team, they peed after they got out of the shower. Funny stuff.
For when someone got something right by luck: "Even a broke clock is right twice a day."
Advice given when up to 'no good': "Never raise more hell than you can put back down."
When asked 'how are you doing': "Fine, so far...but it's still early."
One of my favorites was "...as dumb as a sack full of wet hammers!"
I was always described as being as independent as a hog on ice. I know what it means, does anyone else?
Someone tightfisted was said to make a mile of copper wire from a penny.
Someone mean was meaner than a rattlesnake in the blind. (the time a snake molts, and can't see. They strike at anything which touches them)
D. Brian Casady
Quid Llatine Dictum Sit, Altum Viditur.
Advanced is being able to do the basics while your leg is on fire---Bill Jeans
Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up---Robert Frost
My old 1st Sergeant used to say...."I want it to shine like a diamond in a goat's A[rear end ]" This makes no sense until you wind up looking at the south end of a north bound goat, then it all falls into place.
One more that my Dad uses, and don't know if this is apart of his Texan roots or what. When it is far away, he will say "It's a fur piece." The Texans and Okies have so many of these sayings....I wish I had started writing them down when I was young. Now everything is like, just totally like all the same.
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
piller wrote:Someone tightfisted was said to make a mile of copper wire from a penny.
I always heard "He's so tightfisted he can make a penny scream"
As a kid that usually had no money of my own, I'd ask Mom to buy something. Usually some junk toy I didn't need anyway. After she rejected it out to half court, I'd point out "It's ONLY $XX.xx" and she'd tell me "If steamboats were a dime a dozen, all you could do is run up and down the riverbank saying 'My, my, ain't that cheap!'" IOW, you don't have the money for it and I'm not buying it for you.
Which reminds me of another. Someone who's just about flat broke "Don't have two nickels to rub together". Along the same line of thought, when my "fun fund" gets enough in it that I can go looking for parts for a project or an outright new purchase I find myself telling my running buddy that I need to hit the store/show since I've got two nickels to rub together.
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
-Mark Twain
Proverbs 3:5; Philippians 4:13
Got to have a Jones for this
Jones for that
This running with the Joneses boy
Just ain't where it's at
C. Cash wrote:One more that my Dad uses, and don't know if this is apart of his Texan roots or what. When it is far away, he will say "It's a fur piece."
It's gotta be the drawl. I've heard (and said) "It's a fair piece". For instance, "How far is it from Ft Worth to El Paso?" "It's a fair piece from here to there.".
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
-Mark Twain
Proverbs 3:5; Philippians 4:13
Got to have a Jones for this
Jones for that
This running with the Joneses boy
Just ain't where it's at
Yep there's drawl in there but they actually say and mean "fur" as animal fur. I've only heard people from the South say it that way though for some reason. I've had some one tell me that it was a unit of measure used by early Americans(Native?/Settlers?) but I think more probably just a play off of "a fair piece" as you allude to.
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
Yep there's drawl in there but they actually say and mean "fur" as animal fur. I've only heard people from the South say it that way though for some reason. I've had some one tell me that it was a unit of measure used by early Americans(Native?/Settlers?) but I think more probably just a play off of "a fair piece" as you allude to.
It is nothing more than Southern Dialect for "a fair piece."
As in:
Town is a purty fur piece down yonder way, but if you keep going, you'll git thar d'rectly (directly).
To the best of my knowledge "fur" has no connection to furlong, which is a unit of distance equal to 220 yards or about 1/8 mile.
Doc Hudson, OOF, IOFA, CSA, F&AM, SCV, NRA LIFE MEMBER, IDJRS #002, IDCT, King of Typoists
hotter than a two peckered billy goat
john, i think were flogging a dead horse (what my dad would say when we were hunting and not seeing anything)
poorer than church mice(my moms favorite)
My dad met and became friends with Slim Pickens (actor) during the war.He was in a the bed beside Slim in a Hospital(in the States)after my dad returned from over seas.I believe the way it went, was my dad was getting treatment for a flesh wound and Slim Pickens was in for a broken wrist and a broken leg.Supposedly with one of his wrist broken Slim still competed in a big bull riding event and took 3rd place but also got his leg busted.My dad said Slim told him about growing up with nothing and learned Judo (the hard way) to fight for fish heads etc for somthing to eat?? Thats hardcore.
Anyway---My dad picked up this saying from Slim "when my Dad was really ticked and ready to rock someones world" ITS ALL OVER BUT THE BLEEDING/NO CRYING EL MARIE. I said on one of the other post he reminded me of the hardcore old timer(Clint)on the movie Grand Torino!
Like nailing Jello to a wall (an impossible task)
Ya can't sling a dead cat without hitting a ........ (having much more than you need)
Like Fathers Day in Harlem (confusion)
Ya can't get there from here (a friends wife when confronted with which way to turn at a 4 way stop, ie she didn't know).
"Any man who covers his face and packs a gun is a legitimate target for any decent citizen"
Jeff Cooper
So ugly it'd chase a booger up a thorn tree.
Don't know goat sh-- from cotton seed.
If you're doing tolerable that means your well enought to eat but tosick to work
Richer than 2 ft. up a bulls a--
Don't know come here from sickem.
On tangling with someone/something they ought to know better than...1. He'd as soon sandpaper a grizzly bear's a--, 2. (j.o.) a grizzly bear with a hand full of cockleburs, or 3., french kiss a cottonmouth.
slimster wrote:On tangling with someone/something they ought to know better than...1. He'd as soon sandpaper a grizzly bear's a--, 2. (j.o.) a grizzly bear with a hand full of cockleburs, or 3., french kiss a cottonmouth.
]" This makes no sense until you wind up looking at the south end of a north bound goat, then it all falls into place.
Thats a Keeper!
