OT: St. Valentine's Day Massacre
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Please post political post in the new Politics forum.
- AmBraCol
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OT: St. Valentine's Day Massacre
Sam's wife had a card addressed to him, hidden in her top dresser drawer. Her gift to him was under her dresses in the closet. She waited for him to make the first move, to end this little dodge of his. There he was, sitting down to watch television at 7:30 at night as if he might be camped out there till bedtime ... as if he'd actually forgotten what day this is!
Finally, at 10 P.M., when Sam had stumbled upstairs to brush his teeth, he found his wife sitting bolt upright in bed. Somehow the temperature felt noticeably cooler in that room than in the other parts of the house.
"What's the matter? What'd I do?" He did a super-quick scan of his usual offences. Everything checked out.
"Tomorrow morning," she said through clenched teeth, "I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from zero to two hundred in less than six seconds. And it had better be there!"
With that, she snatched her pillow and blanket and trudged off, presumably to the downstairs sofa, leaving Sam standing there looking very unmanly, totally exposed as a Valentine forgetter. But his pride wasn't about to be threatened so easily.
The next morning his wife found a gift box in the driveway. She tore it open and looked inside.
It was a bathroom scale.
Sam has been missing since Friday.
Finally, at 10 P.M., when Sam had stumbled upstairs to brush his teeth, he found his wife sitting bolt upright in bed. Somehow the temperature felt noticeably cooler in that room than in the other parts of the house.
"What's the matter? What'd I do?" He did a super-quick scan of his usual offences. Everything checked out.
"Tomorrow morning," she said through clenched teeth, "I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from zero to two hundred in less than six seconds. And it had better be there!"
With that, she snatched her pillow and blanket and trudged off, presumably to the downstairs sofa, leaving Sam standing there looking very unmanly, totally exposed as a Valentine forgetter. But his pride wasn't about to be threatened so easily.
The next morning his wife found a gift box in the driveway. She tore it open and looked inside.
It was a bathroom scale.
Sam has been missing since Friday.
Paul - in Pereira
"He is the best friend of American liberty who is most sincere and active in promoting true and undefiled religion." -- John Witherspoon
http://www.paulmoreland.com
http://www.pistolpackingpreachers.us
http://www.precisionandina.com
"He is the best friend of American liberty who is most sincere and active in promoting true and undefiled religion." -- John Witherspoon
http://www.paulmoreland.com
http://www.pistolpackingpreachers.us
http://www.precisionandina.com
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- Levergunner 2.0
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Re: OT: St. Valentine's Day Massacre
LOL!! Outstanding!!
John
John
"Pistols do not win wars, but they save the lives of the men who do. The noble 1911 is a mechanical marvel, whose ruggedness, dependability & ferocious power have comforted four issues of GIs and which, unlike any other instrument you can name, is as much superior to its rivals today as it was in 1917."
-Col. Jeff Cooper, 1968
-Col. Jeff Cooper, 1968
Re: OT: St. Valentine's Day Massacre
Sadly, "Political Correctness" is the most powerful religion in America, and it has ruined our society.
Re: OT: St. Valentine's Day Massacre
I'm not sure that domestic violence is very family friendly.
The Rotten Fruit Always Hits The Ground First
Proud Life Member Of:
NRA
Second Amendment Foundation
Citizens Committee For The Right To Keep And Bear Arms
DAV
Proud Life Member Of:
NRA
Second Amendment Foundation
Citizens Committee For The Right To Keep And Bear Arms
DAV
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- Levergunner 2.0
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Re: OT: St. Valentine's Day Massacre
FWIW, I told the joke much as it appeared here to my wife and my 89 year old Dad over lunch today, and THEY thought it was very funny....
John
John
"Pistols do not win wars, but they save the lives of the men who do. The noble 1911 is a mechanical marvel, whose ruggedness, dependability & ferocious power have comforted four issues of GIs and which, unlike any other instrument you can name, is as much superior to its rivals today as it was in 1917."
-Col. Jeff Cooper, 1968
-Col. Jeff Cooper, 1968
Re: OT: St. Valentine's Day Massacre
Legend of St. Valentine isn't exactly a love story ...
http://www.dailybreeze.com/ci_14396508
Still .. I can now understand why Big Al planned the 'massacre' for that day.
http://www.dailybreeze.com/ci_14396508
Still .. I can now understand why Big Al planned the 'massacre' for that day.
Re: OT: St. Valentine's Day Massacre
I found that story to be very funny! Thanks for putting a smile on my face!
Sandy
Sandy
- Ysabel Kid
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Re: OT: St. Valentine's Day Massacre
Mrs. YK liked it!!!
Then again, I told her after she got the present, so I was safe!
Simple this year. One red rose for each year of marriage (20 of them), plus one blue rose (a white one stained blue) representing Y2K and a pink one representing our daughter. Gave the other 4 red roses from the two dozen to my daughter, which earned me BIG brownie points from both her and my wife!
Re: OT: St. Valentine's Day Massacre
Ironic, ain't it?BlaineG wrote:I'm not sure that domestic violence is very family friendly.
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- Advanced Levergunner
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Re: OT: St. Valentine's Day Massacre
Didnt see that one coming at all
30/30 Winchester: Not accurate enough fer varmints, barely adequate for small deer; BUT In a 10" to 14" barrelled pistol; is good for moose/elk to 200 yards; ground squirrels to 300 metres
250 Savage... its what the 223 wishes it could be...!
250 Savage... its what the 223 wishes it could be...!
Re: OT: St. Valentine's Day Massacre
I chickened out this year and got my wife a necklace and earrings.
D. Brian Casady
Quid Llatine Dictum Sit, Altum Viditur.
Advanced is being able to do the basics while your leg is on fire---Bill Jeans
Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up---Robert Frost
Quid Llatine Dictum Sit, Altum Viditur.
Advanced is being able to do the basics while your leg is on fire---Bill Jeans
Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up---Robert Frost