OT - When God Made Cops

Griff · Post by **Griff** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 1:00 pm

When the Lord was creating cops, he was into his sixth day of overtime when an angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one."

And the Lord said, "Have you read the spec on this order? A peace officer has to be able to run five miles through alleys in the dark, scale walls, enter homes the health inspector wouldn't touch, and not wrinkle his uniform."

"He has to be able to sit in an undercover car all day on a stakeout, cover a homicide scene that night, canvass the neighborhood for witnesses, and testify in court the next day."

"He has to be in top physical condition at all times, running on black coffee and half-eaten meals.
And he has to have six pairs of hands."

The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands... no way."

"It's not the hands that are causing me problems," said the Lord, "it' s the three pairs of eyes an officer has to have."

"That's on the standard model?" asked the angel.

The Lord nodded. One pair that sees through a bulge in a pocket before he asks, "May I see what's in there, sir?" (When he already knows and wishes he'd taken that accounting job.) "Another pair here in the side of his head for his partners' safety. And another pair of eyes here in front that can look
reassuringly at a bleeding victim and say, 'You'll be all right ma'am,' when he knows it isn't so."

"Lord," said the angel, touching his sleeve, "rest and work on this tomorrow."

"I can't," said the Lord, "I already have a model that can talk a 250 pound drunk into a patrol car without incident and feed a family of five on a civil service paycheck."

The angel circled the model of the peace officer very slowly, "Can it think?" she asked.

"You bet," said the Lord. "It can tell you the elements of a hundred crimes; recite Miranda warnings in its sleep; detain, investigate, search, and arrest a gang member on the street in less time than it takes five learned judges to debate the legality of the stop ... and still it keeps its sense of humor. This officer also has phenomenal personal control. He can deal with crime scenes painted in hell, coax a confession from a child abuser, comfort a murder victim's family, and then read in the daily paper how law enforcement isn't sensitive to the rights of criminal suspects."

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the peace officer. "There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model."

"That's not a leak," said the lord, "it's a tear."

"What's the tear for?" asked the angel.

"It's for bottled-up emotions, for fallen comrades, for commitment to that funny piece of cloth called the American flag, for justice."

"You're a genius," said the angel.

The Lord looked somber. "I didn't put it there," he said.

Author Unknown

homefront · Post by **homefront** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 1:07 pm

I wish my town cops fit that description.

JReed · Post by **JReed** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 5:54 pm

That was good Griff.

Buffboy · Post by **Buffboy** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 6:15 pm

On my now second week(of 12) of law enforcement training in Pierre, I can say Griff pretty much has it.

FALPhil · Post by **FALPhil** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 6:54 pm

Buffboy, don't break your arm patting yourself on the back.

Mike-in-WV · Post by **Mike-in-WV** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 7:11 pm

Griff, Sent it to my sister. My sister is a retired Srgt. of detectives and her main job or assignments were domestic abuse and rape and sexual violence to kids.
For several years after she retired she had a really bad attitude toward people in general. She said she just never understood "mans inhumanity to man". She is much better now but still has night mares over some of the things she has seen in 30 years as a cop. To this day she's still thankful that she never killed the baby rapist and a some others that she arrested but she's glad she's out of it. Mike

Post by **Ysabel Kid** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 11:43 pm

Very good Griff!

Ridgerunner · Post by **Ridgerunner** » Sat Jan 19, 2008 8:05 am

Buffboy, you come down to Ol' Virginnie and I'll pat your back for you. It gripes my testes that so many are always ready to slam the law enforcement profession having never once walked a yard in their shoes, much less a mile. The next door city of Chesapeake, VA just lost an officer on a drug raid. Killed in the line of duty. Dead. He will walk and breathe no more. Widow and 3 kids left to greive. He made the ultimate sacrifice so that the whiners and the cop haters MIGHT be a little safer. Everyone knows how the police job SHOULD be done and that cops NEVER do it right. darn few ever have to work nights, holidays and weekends, walking a thin line of steet survival and administrative survival. We serve a mostly ungrateful public, get slammed in the press and ridiculed by "comedians" and other jerks who could not keep their sphincters shut if confronted by a knife, gun or other weapon, a blood soaked doper you HAVE to arrest who just may be eaten up with AIDS. Take reports of plants stolen off porches and get internal affairs complaints if you don't find the petunias in 24 hours. Mispronounce a name and be labeled a racist, anti-semite or idiot in general. Sure, the military is at risk when sent into battle. Living in a LARGE military area, I see soldiers, sailors and Marines living relatively normal lives, when not deployed. Every call a cop goes on, there is the potential for violence. Every traffic stop, every field interview, every suspicious person call, an officer may die if not on his toes. Then if he does drop the felonious thug, the ACLU, NAACP and others will want his head on a pike in the middle of the projects because, no doubt, the goblin was a good boy who would have been a brain surgeon if not oppressed for 400 years. Yeah, y'all keep on knocking and belittling the police. There are bad ones, but they usually don't last. Guess what? I've locked up all 5 branches of the military for various offenses, but I still respect the job they do. I routinely praise the Master at Arms students I train, wishing I could take the money paid some thug on the football field or basketball court and give it to them for the job they are taking on. I'm retired now, but I gave nearly 30 years of my life, and a tremendous toll on my body to keeping the peace. I'd gladly do it all over again, despite the barrage of criticism I see here and other places of the men and women who have the dedication, moral fiber and intestinal fortitude to pin on a badge and face the myriad of perils that await every time they step out of the patrol car. How about this? All you haters, call your local drug dealer or pimp next time someone breaks into your home or assaults you.

Buffboy · Post by **Buffboy** » Sat Jan 19, 2008 8:47 am

Ridgerunner, Thank you. I've been a part time deputy sheriff for almost a year. State certification is required before the end of the first year employed (or at least started). Even in my little backwater corner of the world, I've done or personally seen a lot of what is mentioned in Griff's quote. I don't know if FALphil was belittling me, or the profession. It did seem to me like he thought I was talking about myself in Griff's terms. I wasn't. If Phil was just getting in a little dig in on me, that's ok.

Without going into great detail, what I was stating was: I'm proud that I've met those people described. In fact most of the officers and teachers I've met have had most, if not all, of those qualities described. Are some officers I've met lacking in some of those glowing terms? Yes, but I'm proud that they think I have the qualities to be in their profession. If that's patting myself on the back, I'm proud of that too. I just hope I make it through the training, it ain't easy(some days are 8am to 10pm of classroom and practical), and I've only just started.

horsesoldier03 · Post by **horsesoldier03** » Sat Jan 19, 2008 9:05 am

A word of thanks to all the Peace Officers that serve! Ridgerunner/Falphil, the thread was never meant to incite a riot here on levergunners. Ridgerunner, thanks for your service as well! But I would request that you stop trying to sling mud on the Troops to place greater emphasis on profession. I thank God that we live in a country where we can choose our profession! I think we can all agree that both jobs are demanding and equally important!

SJPrice · Post by **SJPrice** » Sat Jan 19, 2008 9:24 am

I was leaving this one alone until now. While I appreciate that Griff's story describes a great example of a Police Officer, the same type of thing could be written about folks in every walk of life and in every case the folks who believe in their work and try to do it the best way possible deserve more recognition than they ever get. On the other hand many of us have met, talked to or had to deal with a less than perfect member of the law enforcement community and as is human nature those lousy experiences stand out in our minds. In addition it is the bad examples of any given profession that get the press and this in turn adds to our perceptions. Hero worship is fine for a given individual. On the other hand Hero Worship should never be given to a person just because he or she is a member of a group. It is to be earned. I for one would like it better if true life examples of true life heros in any and all walks of life were sited by us here and the mainstream media. The story does a good job of setting a standard, but it is just that. A standard. It is not something that gets issued just because you graduate "the academy" like a sidearm. It is something to be sought out and earned with your every day approach to your chosen walk of life. I apologize for the random meanderings of my thoughts and comments, but not for the feelings they bring to my mind.

horsesoldier03 · Post by **horsesoldier03** » Sat Jan 19, 2008 9:33 am

SJPrice wrote:I was leaving this one alone until now. While I appreciate that Griff's story describes a great example of a Police Officer, the same type of thing could be written about folks in every walk of life and in every case the folks who believe in their work and try to do it the best way possible deserve more recognition than they ever get. On the other hand many of us have met, talked to or had to deal with a less than perfect member of the law enforcement community and as is human nature those lousy experiences stand out in our minds. In addition it is the bad examples of any given profession that get the press and this in turn adds to our perceptions. Hero worship is fine for a given individual. On the other hand Hero Worship should never be given to a person just because he or she is a member of a group. It is to be earned. I for one would like it better if true life examples of true life heros in any and all walks of life were sited by us here and the mainstream media. The story does a good job of setting a standard, but it is just that. A standard. It is not something that gets issued just because you graduate "the academy" like a sidearm. It is something to be sought out and earned with your every day approach to your chosen walk of life. I apologize for the random meanderings of my thoughts and comments, but not for the feelings they bring to my mind.

WELL SAID!!! On that note, I will add that there was only one perfect man that ever walked the earth and we crucified him!

canonsix · Post by **canonsix** » Sat Jan 19, 2008 9:34 am

As a retired LEO, thanks for the post. Buffboy, good on you. And for the notion that all these are "STANDARDS" to be aspired to, maybe but aren't we all flawed in the eyes of OUR LORD. SO maybe WE ALL SHOULD BE ASPIRING to be better just my2c . Doug

Rexster · Post by **Rexster** » Sat Jan 19, 2008 1:01 pm

Griff, thanks, good post, and thanks to all for the support. I will be the first to concede there are some real Adam Henry types in law enforcement, and there are certainly times I fail to live up to the standards I set for myself. (Adam Henry is phonetic alphabet) It can be so dificult to maintain focus at times. Regarding the retired sergeant described by Mike-in-WV, I know exactly what she meant by man's inhumanity to man. (Her agency should have rotated her out of that duty; doing that stuff too long is horrendously stressful.) Whew! My post was getting too long; so I shortened it, to end it here.

Ridgerunner · Post by **Ridgerunner** » Sat Jan 19, 2008 1:42 pm

I never slung mud at anyone. If you took time to read my post, I said that I have nothing but admiration for the military and would gladly see the money paid to glorified thugs and dog-fighters given to them instead. The Master at Arms students I teach are the Navy's law enforcement arm. I DID say that I had arrested folk from all 5 branches of the military, but that was to illustrate that there are good and bad in all walks of life. I did not try to smear anyone to make anyone else look good, such is not my way. I DO get tired of the "experts" who want to monday morning quarterback and second guess police action without one iota of background outside of watching reruns of "Miami Vice" or "Barney Miller"....

cas · Post by **cas** » Sat Jan 19, 2008 2:56 pm

"civil service paycheck."

Hmmm... the cops were I live make $90K+ on average.

I'm a civil servant.. I make $35k

hehehe

Edit: Did some check on those old numbers. Current figure is $104K

ihmsa70 · Post by **ihmsa70** » Sat Jan 19, 2008 5:44 pm

I'm retired from the Odessa, TX PD. (20 yrs.)
Two months ago three officers were killed here while making a domestic disturbance call. (12 ga. shotgun)
I don't think they were overpaid.
Clyde Howard

cas · Post by **cas** » Sat Jan 19, 2008 8:32 pm

Ridgerunner wrote:" or "Barney Miller"....

I've a family member who's retured NYPD, and I remember years back someone asked him "What's the most realistic cop show on Tv?"

His answer was Barney Miller.

Rexster · Post by **Rexster** » Sun Jan 20, 2008 12:13 am

I agree with Barney Miller being very realistic. Of course, IIRC, most of it was filmed on a stage, with their office as the setting.

MikeNV · Post by **MikeNV** » Sun Jan 20, 2008 4:18 am

I did pretty good last year about 100K+ as a SWAT Sgt with 19 yrs of service but I've also had 2 turds attempt to take my life in the last 7 yrs, they didn't, I won and am here to write this. My pager tends to go off at the most undesirable times...10mins after I fall asleep, In the middle of the me and the wife's anniversary dinner, at the movies with the kids. Don't get me wrong I really enjoy my job and wouldn't trade it for anything and I understand that risks come with this job. But I found this civil service job right next to the other civil service listings and signed up for it.

Anytime you would like to make the "ton" of cash with only every once and while someone shooting at you, let me know....my agency is hiring.

Oh yeah, PS..Hopefully I will retire in 4 yrs.

Ridgerunner · Post by **Ridgerunner** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 12:47 pm

You followed the first rule of policing, sir, GO HOME AT THE END OF YOUR SHIFT.....don't worry, that 4 years will zip by and you'll be missing it like I have for the last 5 years....Stay safe and watch your six....

kimwcook · Post by **kimwcook** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 5:54 pm

Thanks Griff. That was good.

pharmseller · Post by **pharmseller** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 6:14 pm

Anyone who turns the wheel TOWARDS the shooting deserves to make big bucks IMO.

Quinn

kentdep · Post by **kentdep** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 8:56 pm

I have to also say thanks Griff for posting this.

I have a buddy at work that sums up our pay like this.... "We don't get paid for what we do everyday. We get paid for what we might have to do everyday."

I love my job.

Jay