Rough time in IL, lost my MIL

[J Miller]

GRACE LOIS DAVIS GOUTY
November 28, 1914 - February 15, 2012


We've had a rough winter here in IL. Mostly due to emotions caused by the rapidly declining health of my MIL and also because of our health concerns. My MIL Grace Gouty

Grace Gouty birthday.JPG

was 97 her last birthday and not long after that just started going down hill. The SIL in charge had put her in a home she didn't want to be in last year and two of the other SILs tried to pry her away from the one SIL and bring her home to IN, but they couldn't get it done. The family squabble over my MIL tore my wife up pretty bad.
She wanted to help bring her mom home but just couldn't.

Last night sometime Grace Gouty went home. We got the news third hand from one of my wife's sisters who got it from some cousins. Nothing from the sister in charge.

There will be a memorial service in Denver which none of the other daughters or sons will be able to attend. Then sometime this summer the daughter in charge will bring her ashes back to Ft Wayne to be spread in the same place her husband's were back in 90.

I hate family squabbles, they serve no good purpose and only cause pain and heartbreak.

The last time I saw Grace was 2 years ago when she came to Ft Wayne to visit some of the other family. We made the trip over there just to see her. She was kinda feeble like all older folks eventually get, but her spirits were high. We hugged and I asked her how she was doing. She replied with an ornery grin: "Any body I can".

I was accepted by her as a future son in law almost immediately. This caused some disconcert by some of the other daughters husbands who she took a long time to accept. But I guess we kind of clicked right off.

My wife can't cry yet. But it's all I've been able to do to keep myself from crying. I miss that old lady.

We got a pic via email of her at her high school graduation. My oh my was she a beauty. Here's that pic.

Grace's graduation photo.JPG

She had 9 children, 3 sons, 6 daughters. My wife was 7 of 9.

Rest in Peace Grace. Hope to see you when my turn comes.

Joe

[Dave]

Sorry to hear that Joe.

[pwl44m]

Tough times for sure Joe. I will be praying for You and Your Wife.
I too hate Family squabbles. Most squabbles are over money.
Does this explain Your absence of late, just don't seem to see much of You.
Regards- Perry

[2ndovc]

Sorry Joe and to your lovely Mrs.

She sure was a pretty lady.


Very sorry for your loss!

j

[gamekeeper]

Sorry to hear this Joe, my sincere condolences to you and your wife, may your Mother in Law rest in peace.
She sure was a pretty lady.

[Topside]

Sorry to hear of her passing Joe. Thoughts and prayers to you and your wife.

T.

[Pitchy]

Sorry for your lose Joe, wife and i have you and yours in our thoughts and prayers.

[FWiedner]

Sorry to hear of your heartache, Joe.

Condolences on the loss of your loved one.

Death is hard on the living.

Her? She's gone to Glory.

[Blaine]

Another circle of life complete.....The Angels are rejoicing tonight. Be strong and think of the good stuff.....You guys will be in my thoughts this evening.

[madman4570]

Very sorry Joe,prayers up for all involved!

[Old Ranger]

Joe,

I understand how the families often make a mess of things at times like this rather than pull together as they should. A sad fact of life. However, I can only try to share some of the loss from afar and hope that your wife and yourself will remain the rock for those that need someone to stand by when all others appear lost. You have a good attitude toward life in general, and that will see you and yours through more than anything else.

My best to you and your wife,

Wade

[Don McDowell]

Sad new's indeed Joe.

[AJMD429]

Another circle of life complete.....The Angels are rejoicing tonight. Be strong and think of the good stuff.....You guys will be in my thoughts this evening.

Yep.

If a person lives into his/her 90's, and leaves some decent kids/grandkids/great-grandkids behind, it's hard to think anything 'bad' about their passing - it is a cause for celebration of a life lived long and well.

[damienph]

To paraphrase AJMD, don't mourn her passing but celebrate the good long life that she led and the legacy that she left behind, especially #7 of 9; your wife.

Joe, I am sorry to hear of her passing, No matter how long loved ones live, they are always missed.

[Mescalero]

Joe,
May the Great Spirit light her path to the spirit world.
Mescalero

[Chuck 100 yd]

Prayers said Joe. Hang in there friend !

[gak]

Joe, I'm so sorry. She sounds like a great person. My thoughts are with you my friend.

[20cows]

You and yours are in our prayers.


"I was accepted by her as a future son in law almost immediately."

She had a discerning eye, Joe.

[Canuck Bob]

You really can't pick your family and some of them really are outlaws. Your handling things with grace and strength, she knows you folks are doing her proud.

[.45colt]

Sorry Joe, it sure is Hard. Prayers Sent.

[jeepnik]

Joe, my condolences and prayers for you and your family.

[Ysabel Kid]

Condolences Joe. Prayers sent to you and yours...

[Malamute]

Very sorry to hear it Joe. My sincerest condolences.

Prayers for peace and healing to you and yours.

Rest in Peace Grace

[C. Cash]

Very sorry to hear Joe. Condolences to all of you.

[Mac in Mo]

Condolences to your family Joe.


Kevin

[RIHMFIRE]

Prayers sent

[Hagler]

Prayers sent, Joe.

Shawn

[SteveR]

My condolences to you and the misses, and prayers for you both.

Steve

[piller]

Joe, remember that noone who is remembered fondly is ever truly gone. Remember the good times and you will be showing her honor. Too bad about the family squabbles. They happen to way too many families. It is not bad parenting, but that some folks just want to act badly. Sounds like the one SIL could use a good four wall counselling session.

[Dave B]

Joe, I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your mother-in-law. My condolences and prayers go to you, your wife. and her family.

Dave B

[Tycer]

Travel well Grace.
Heal well Joe, you and yours. And thems too.

[Griff]

Joe, condolences seem so feeble, but those and prayers are all any of us has to offer.

Travel well Grace.
Heal well Joe, you and yours. And thems too.

Better said than I can.

[Hobie]

Well, Joe, I am very sorry to come home to see this. We've lost several others around here in the last week and none are easy to see gone. You, your wife and her family have my heartfelt condolences.

[kimwcook]

Really sorry to hear that, Professor. My condolences to you, your wife and family.

[J Miller]

Thanks guys. We do appreciate it.

A bit of history as told to me by my wife.

Thomas Gouty; my late FIL, was so in love with Grace that not long after the graduation pic was taken, they eloped. She was not yet 18, not legal to marry in her home state, and since her father was a filtration plant engineer and about to be transferred elsewhere, they decided to do it. They were married 57 years if I remember right. We made it to their 50th Anniversary in 1983 in FT Wayne, IN, and then to Tom's funeral in Jacksonville, FL in 1990.

I know the reunion between the two of them has been a wonderful thing.

At our home for the last three months, since Grace's health has been deteriorating, our cats have been stressed to the max. Our old black and white TC had been crying and pacing and waiting for something or someone. Almost to the moment that Grace passed he quieted down and went to sleep. He's been sleeping more than normal lately.
The stress level here has dropped noticeably. I find it very strange how our animals can mirror our emotions, even when we don't realize how bad we are showing them.

Joe

[missionary5155]

Good morning
It sure does leave an empty place. Will pray with the others your days will be able to filter out the others who would destroy the peace that can be.
Mike in Peru