OXY-MORONS
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Welcome to the Leverguns.Com General Discussions Forum. This is a high-class place so act respectable. We discuss most anything here other than politics... politely.
Please post political post in the new Politics forum.
OXY-MORONS
1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
11. Why is it called "after dark" when it is really "after light"?
12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
27. Christmas: What other time of year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
2. Why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
11. Why is it called "after dark" when it is really "after light"?
12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
27. Christmas: What other time of year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
Steve
Retired and Living the Good Life
No Matter Where You Go, There You Are
Retired and Living the Good Life
No Matter Where You Go, There You Are
Re: OXY-MORONS
NRA Life Member
Re: OXY-MORONS
usually a "wiseguy" is a made-man in good standing of one of the Five Families... :)
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Last edited by 1894c on Tue Nov 06, 2012 1:16 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: OXY-MORONS
Steve, you have waaaaay too much time on your hands. Go find a gun and shoot it. You'll feel better.
Jeepnik AKA "Old Eyes"
"Go low, go slow and preferably in the dark" The old Sarge (he was maybe 24.
"Freedom is never more that a generation from extinction" Ronald Reagan
"Every man should have at least one good rifle and know how to use it" Dad
"Go low, go slow and preferably in the dark" The old Sarge (he was maybe 24.
"Freedom is never more that a generation from extinction" Ronald Reagan
"Every man should have at least one good rifle and know how to use it" Dad
- Ji in Hawaii
- Senior Levergunner
- Posts: 1987
- Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2011 1:05 pm
- Location: Moku Manu, Hawai'i
Re: OXY-MORONS
Shouldn't meteorologists study meteors?
Shouldn't hemorrhoids be called asteroids?
Shouldn't hemorrhoids be called asteroids?
Illegitimus Non Carborundum
Akā, ʻo ka poʻe hilinaʻi aku iā Iēhova, e ulu hou nō ko lākou ikaika;
E piʻi ʻēheu aku nō lākou i luna, e like me nā ʻaito;
E holo nō lākou, ʻaʻole hoʻi e māloʻeloʻe,
E hele mua nō lākou, ʻaʻole hoʻi e maʻule.
`Isaia 40:31
Akā, ʻo ka poʻe hilinaʻi aku iā Iēhova, e ulu hou nō ko lākou ikaika;
E piʻi ʻēheu aku nō lākou i luna, e like me nā ʻaito;
E holo nō lākou, ʻaʻole hoʻi e māloʻeloʻe,
E hele mua nō lākou, ʻaʻole hoʻi e maʻule.
`Isaia 40:31
Re: OXY-MORONS
Unfortunately, I can't take credit for this as it was sent to me.jeepnik wrote:Steve, you have waaaaay too much time on your hands. Go find a gun and shoot it. You'll feel better.
Friends Call Me Ji wrote:Shouldn't meteorologists study meteors?
Shouldn't hemorrhoids be called asteroids?
Sounds right to me.
Also, why don't they call a 'hysterectomy' a 'hersterectomy'?
Steve
Retired and Living the Good Life
No Matter Where You Go, There You Are
Retired and Living the Good Life
No Matter Where You Go, There You Are
Re: OXY-MORONS
Wow, this makes me want to go find something to do!
dennie
dennie
NRA Benefactor Member/Bluegrass Picker
Re: OXY-MORONS
Was Ben really Gay ?
Did Wilson really Pick It ?
- DixieBoy
Did Wilson really Pick It ?
- DixieBoy
When the People Fear Their Government There is Tyranny; When the Government Fears the People There is Liberty.
Re: OXY-MORONS
Because they believed they were removing whac caused women to have hysterical fits.COSteve wrote:Unfortunately, I can't take credit for this as it was sent to me.jeepnik wrote:Steve, you have waaaaay too much time on your hands. Go find a gun and shoot it. You'll feel better.Friends Call Me Ji wrote:Shouldn't meteorologists study meteors?
Shouldn't hemorrhoids be called asteroids?
Sounds right to me.
Also, why don't they call a 'hysterectomy' a 'hersterectomy'?
Now, why do you have a pair of pants? Wouldn't a pair of anything that is plural be a total of 4?
D. Brian Casady
Quid Llatine Dictum Sit, Altum Viditur.
Advanced is being able to do the basics while your leg is on fire---Bill Jeans
Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up---Robert Frost
Quid Llatine Dictum Sit, Altum Viditur.
Advanced is being able to do the basics while your leg is on fire---Bill Jeans
Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up---Robert Frost
- Old Ironsights
- Posting leader...
- Posts: 15084
- Joined: Mon Apr 02, 2007 9:27 am
- Location: Waiting for the Collapse
- Contact:
Re: OXY-MORONS
Because a "pant" was once the designation for a hip-length legging for one leg. A "pair" of "pants" was two hip length leggings that were conjoined by a codpiece... a belted jock-strap that held up both each Pant and the dangly bits in the middle.piller wrote:...Now, why do you have a pair of pants? Wouldn't a pair of anything that is plural be a total of 4?
Kilts were/are much more efficient...
C2N14... because life is not energetic enough.
מנא, מנא, תקל, ופרסין Daniel 5:25-28... Got 7.62?
Not Depressed enough yet? Go read National Geographic, July 1976
Gott und Gewehr mit uns!
מנא, מנא, תקל, ופרסין Daniel 5:25-28... Got 7.62?
Not Depressed enough yet? Go read National Geographic, July 1976
Gott und Gewehr mit uns!
Re: OXY-MORONS
Why do we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?
Some people just need a sympathetic pat on the head.....with a hammer. Repeatedly.
-
- Advanced Levergunner
- Posts: 4559
- Joined: Fri Sep 07, 2007 1:52 pm
Re: OXY-MORONS
And Archie was right when he called one doctor a groinocologist!
Re: OXY-MORONS
I heard about the hysteria link, just using a play on the sound of words, i.e. 'him' vs 'her'piller wrote:Because they believed they were removing whac caused women to have hysterical fits.COSteve wrote:Unfortunately, I can't take credit for this as it was sent to me.jeepnik wrote:Steve, you have waaaaay too much time on your hands. Go find a gun and shoot it. You'll feel better.Friends Call Me Ji wrote:Shouldn't meteorologists study meteors?
Shouldn't hemorrhoids be called asteroids?
Sounds right to me.
Also, why don't they call a 'hysterectomy' a 'hersterectomy'?
Now, why do you have a pair of pants? Wouldn't a pair of anything that is plural be a total of 4?
Steve
Retired and Living the Good Life
No Matter Where You Go, There You Are
Retired and Living the Good Life
No Matter Where You Go, There You Are