Humor - My wife wants me to take all of these classes!

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Ysabel Kid
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Humor - My wife wants me to take all of these classes!

Post by Ysabel Kid »

Better hurry up and sign up - registration ends tomorrow! :wink:

***

Summer Classes for Men at
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by Friday, Feb. 22, 2008
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor -- Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost -- Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM , location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy -- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
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Blaine
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Post by Blaine »

Sheeeeeet.......I had to teach most of those to the Ex..... Men's classes, indeed!
The Rotten Fruit Always Hits The Ground First

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JReed
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Post by JReed »

ROFLMAO
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C. Cash
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Post by C. Cash »

:lol: :lol: :lol:
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
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bsaride
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Post by bsaride »

Can't help ya with those.
RE: Class 7, All I know is when I can't find my coffee cup
look in the micro!
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1x2
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Post by 1x2 »

Oh, good, they aren't offering "What is a vacuum?" this semester- I can still claim ignorance...

Funny stuff, YK, thanks,
1x2
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claybob86
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Post by claybob86 »

I need to enroll in #10 and #12. :shock: :?
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spurgon
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Post by spurgon »

Good one.
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FWiedner
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Post by FWiedner »

I can't say that I see the point unless she takes:

1. Leave his stuff alone.

2. That's not where it belongs.

3. Who's wearing the skirt?

4. Whatever you're thinking, it's probably unimportant.

:wink:
Government office attracts the power-mad, yet it's people who just want to be left alone to live life on their own terms who are considered dangerous.

History teaches that it's a small window in which people can fight back before it is too dangerous to fight back.
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TedH
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Post by TedH »

FWiedner wrote:I can't say that I see the point unless she takes:

1. Leave his stuff alone.

2. That's not where it belongs.

3. Who's wearing the skirt?

4. Whatever you're thinking, it's probably unimportant.

:wink:
:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Borregos
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Post by Borregos »

:lol: :lol: :lol:
Pete
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mescalero1
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Post by mescalero1 »

BlaineG,
If meat is cooked in this house, I do it.
You guys would NOT believe what she can do to a piece of meat!
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Ysabel Kid
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Post by Ysabel Kid »

mescalero1 wrote:You guys would NOT believe what she can do to a piece of meat!
Whoa - that's getting way too personal! :wink:

I'm assuming you mean she has a process to convert perfectly good meat into charcoal briquettes? :shock:
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Hobie
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Post by Hobie »

Mrs. Hobie could use some of those lessons. E.g. she thinks that turning the burner all the way up cooks better (i.e. faster) and hasn't figured out why stuff burns. :roll: Her mom and I used to exchange knowing looks! :lol: In fact her mom (a GREAT cook) used to prefer my cooking. 8) My wife also hasn't learned that she can reach 6" below the counter to open the diswasher and drop the silverware or set the coffee cup into the dishwasher. She could take classes #1 & 2 as well.
Sincerely,

Hobie

"We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best that we find in our travels is an honest friend." Robert Louis Stevenson
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RIHMFIRE
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Post by RIHMFIRE »

I have already graduated....class of 1990
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mescalero1
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Post by mescalero1 »

Ysabel Kid,
That, and other unrecognizable objects of foreign matter;
guess I should be more careful how I word things
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